My worst enemy

I have worst enemy
I hate him to bits
If he had twice the brains, he�d be a half-wit

He's stupid, and smells funny
His face his butt-ugly
His birth-certificate
Is an apology letter from the Condom Factory

He cheats at all games
Never plays fair
He acts like an ass
From January to fudging December

I wish he were twins
So I could hate him twice as much
He rarely has a date
That he cannot inflate
And when he does go out, he always goes dutch

I'm not going to kill him
That would be way too easy
I think I'll slowly torture him
Man that would be 'off the hizzy'

He stole the girl that I love
I can't forgive him for that
But even before, I always hated him, stupid Matt

Matt's always been my pet hate
I hear all of us sprung from apes
But Matt didn't spring far enough

That's all I have to say about my foe
About that lover stealing f*g dealer of woe
But I have to wish him well
Because I will be laughing my head off,
When he's burning in hell