This is love

by Riley   Aug 3, 2007


My arms are wobbly,
My knees are weak.
I find it hard
To stand on my feet.

My stomach's collapsed,
My lungs are burning.
Your beautiful eyes
Drive my sweet yearning.

I'm falling, I think.
I'm floating away.
I can't tell the difference
Between night and day.

I'm dazed and hazy.
I can't feel my toes.
And my skin turns red
On my cheeks and my nose.

I have to clench my fists
When you come near.
My tongue gets tied
And I tremble in fear.

Butterflies flutter
Inside my tum.
And when you come up
I'm struck dumb.

When you smile, I smile.
When you laugh I do too.
When you think, I try,
To think like you do.

This has to be love.
It must be! It must be!
For nothing has got me
So love sick and lusty.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittney

    Gosh, you are so very talented. You have a real gift. Your poems are some of the best I have ever read on here. Every stanza, every line was just to good for words to describe. I love it!!
    5/5
    great write.
    *Brittney

  • 16 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Absolutely beautiful. I loved how it was so unique and not like anything ive ever read, it was sweet and capturing. It flowed so well and was wrotten perectly.
    love Tara-Kay
    x

  • 16 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    Another beautiful love poem! The flow in this one is a lot better thatn the last poem I read. I liked where you rhymed "tum" and "dumb". lol It was really cute. 5/5

    marcella

  • 16 years ago

    by Fsams

    To be honest I would say this is a good piece. Lets start with the poetic qualitites, well your poem shows the POETIC LICENCE, that is the shortening in the line 22nd line "tum/tummy"..thats s positive point. It had a fair flow, good word choice.

    I think there is room for improvement. Due to syllabic count, the line "On my cheeks and my nose." doesnt go with the flow, instead you can revise it like "On my cheeks and nose" and also the 2nd last stanza seems unpoetic and strange, you could change it and it will be flawless :)

    4/5
    Fsams

  • 16 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    Ok, well this poem is ok, i dont think its as good as your others. I didnt much like the end it just wasnt good enough for me. But the rest was pretty good

    "I have to clench my fists
    When you come near.
    My tongue gets tied
    And I tremble in fear."

    favorite stanza ^^

    a

    4/5

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