Was it all a lie?

The smiles you gave,
the love you showed.
Was it all just an elaborate
game to you both?

I look back on those
old pictures now.
And I swear to myself,'
I solemnly vow.

Never again will I let
myself live a lie.
As I sit here thinking,
and looking,
I cant help but cry.

Did you truly love me back then?
Did you love me at all?

Will you ever tell me?
Will I ever really know?
You both looked so happy,
so happy and content.
Was that all taken away
when from heaven I was sent?

I feel like I ruined you lives,
and took away your smiles.
No matter what I do to please you,
all I do is fail.

I'm the biggest disappointment
in your lives.
Your greatest source of shame.

I wish I could be a child again,
oblivious to all the hurt and the pain.
I'm sorry for letting you down,
Sorry for what I've become.
I pray to God that one day
you'll see me shining as brightly
as the sun.