Inside i'm already dead

Lying here in the darkness
of my own depression,
I stare upon my ceiling
looking for the answers
to one of life's toughest questions.

Why is life such a constant struggle,
a never ending fight to survive.
Is it really worth all the suffering
and the pain to remain in this world alive?

The only reason i stay
is to save the ones whom i love,
For i fear they will not survive,
if i were to leave,
and watch upon them from above.

But how much more can i take?
How much heart ache can i endure?
For the disease i suffer from,
there is no help, no cure.

No matter how bad things become,
somehow each day they get worse.
I can't continue to live like this,
I feel as if my life were a curse.

I feel so lost and alone,
so empty inside.
Although i continue to live,
long ago, deep down inside, i died.