Comments : Just by Doing What He Did

  • 12 years ago

    by Roxy

    Awwwww!! When I read the first 3/4 stanza's I got scared lol cause I thought it was about abuse but turns out it was about forgiveness Keep up the great work babe ^^ xxxx

  • 12 years ago

    by shade127

    Beautifully written. I thought it would be a sad poem but it was one of inspiration towards the end. What a terrific little boy!


  • 12 years ago

    by Michelle18

    Wow this is really is..the flow is perfect and also the rhyming....

    gosh...i love it! i almost cried..*tear...sad but then happy..good job.

    i dont see any improving needing done to this... i give you a 5/5..

    nice job...and you're a great writer...i think i'll add this to my favorites.

  • 12 years ago

    by JaMeS

    Sounds like she beats him when the curtains are closed but hey this was a excellent piece it was long but something kept me reading :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    I really like the lesson in this poem, well done. It was an amazing poem - I didn't even notice that it was that long. Excellent imagery, keep up the good work.

    I have some suggestions though..

    And I asked() "Are you okay?"
    = And I asked, "Are you okay?"

    He said() "No, I miss my mommy,
    = He said, "No, I miss my mommy,

    He (said) he went away.
    = replied

    This stanza made the poem extra exciting.
    This little boy was quick to love again,
    And give his mom a kiss.
    She kissed him a few times,
    I was confused by this.

    It was a very beautiful poem Tiller, it has a great lesson to the reader.


  • 12 years ago

    by Civil Hatori

    When I read this poem, I was so full of inspiration. You showed such a brilliant idea and I'm in aw. The lesson within these words is so magnificent that mere words cannot describe how much I love this poem. The words, flow, everything!!
    I have nothing to critisize, so keep it up, and if it were possible, I'd vote this the best poem that exists!
    This poem is on my favorites list now ^_^

    With all due respect,

  • 12 years ago

    by Tine

    Oh wauw.. this poem is fantastic ! the message you give by through your poem is fantastic. I'll certainly remember this and learn to forgive, not to fight. I hope others will learn to. x

  • 12 years ago

    by aDORKable x3

    Tiller, when I first saw this poem, the length was a little daunting, but when I got to the end, I was shocked. I haven't read anything new from you for a long time. This was a great one to come back with dear. Everyone needs to learn this lesson and you wrote about it wonderfully.
    <3 you!!

  • 12 years ago

    by Catastrophic Beauty

    This is an excellent poem. I usually don't like long poems but this didn't even seem long once I started reading it. I was really drawn into this poem and I love how your telling a story.

    The flow was flawless, the rhyming was great and the message was even greater.

    Keep it up && Take Care! 5/5

    -Shannon <3

  • 12 years ago

    by Crystal Gaze

    This peice was amazing.
    In the begining I thought it was gonna be about abuse, but then it turned out to be forgiveness, and really got me thinking.
    It flowed beautifully,
    and really touched home.
    Well done,

  • 12 years ago

    by amber

    Good job. this was really good and a bit sad. it is so true. the world would be a better place iff we could just forgive and many different people will teach us that. so great job. keep it up

  • 12 years ago

    by On Cupids Bad Side

    What an inspirational poem!! It was a bit sad, but the ending was great and it really did have a good lesson to it. Good job.

  • 12 years ago

    by Melpomene

    This is really different to what i'm use to reading. I like the story which was portrayed behind a poem it was interesting and I didn't get bored at all. From start to finish it was an enjoyable read with a great flow which didn't lack at all in any places, although the poem was long the flow being so chant like made it go so fast. I liked the lesson behind this piece it was quite capturing to tell you the truth. A cute piece with the emotion of sadness. Well done on this keep up the great work. ~mel

  • 12 years ago

    by Veamm

    So much for kid..but however this one is done on nicely..keep it up

  • 12 years ago

    by TillyMariex

    Wow. this is...amazing. rrly amazing. <333

  • 12 years ago

    by Becky

    I pretty much <3 this poem! It's wonderful.

  • 12 years ago

    by Elayne

    Thats such a cool poem! i love it! Is it real or did you make it up? i just started this yesterday so i dont no much about it...

  • 12 years ago

    by hippiehxc

    I loved it.

  • 12 years ago

    by mistressxsork

    You had me hanging on every word.
    The depth was amazing,
    so was the emotion you put into it.
    Mind you, in my mind, those are diff. things.
    The flow was unexpected.
    I didn't think it would go so smooth.
    Shows how much I know, huh.
    Good work with this one.
    Overall Rating: 5.0/5

  • It's good Tyler, I likes it!