Game called love
by the come back Sep 4, 2007
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I love you but I cant see you |
Did You Like This Poem?
Latest Comments
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15 years ago
I'll start off by say I love the title :) However, I think you force too much of your rhyming. Poems don't have to rhyme. You can write from your heart about love without rhyme.. then it may be more prose.. but that's not a problem.. Keep improving, 5/5
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16 years ago
Again another really sweet but sadish poem. I like the way you used repitition in this poem to add more meaning xxx alex xxx
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16 years agoby C Cattaway
Can you cheat someone to die? I think it would read better as cheated him of death, or cheated him to death (although this would be grammatically incorrect). Nice concept, though.. xx
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16 years ago
by Sweet lig
U deserve to get 5/5 its perfectly describes ur feelings endeed! hmm i was impress ur work i think it written well and dont need to edit or etc.. coz for me u captivated me! i love the way how u express ur feelings its was great keep it up!
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16 years ago
by Crystal Gaze
The flow was choppy, and I think it's because of the repetition, or rymthe scheme.
Instead of having a rymthe scheme of AABB
You could have one like AbAc, perhaps that will make it less cliched.
I like the thought behind the poem, and I think once you revise it, after taking the critique from the fine poets above, you will improve this peice alot:)
-- Elaine.
