Utopia

by Veamm   Sep 12, 2007


Utopia

Committed self-suicide
within my homeland
Raging thunderstorms
this war had begun

Heavy acid rains
conquered the soil
Endless killing
engraved deep coils

Enemies slit veins
occupied terrains
Guardians stood up
defend for their names

Guardians desperate
to seek such peace
but fumes ascend
and still lives at risk

blood spits the land
to stop the invasion
Guardians sacrificed
for Utopia's completion

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Tammie

    Excellent. I loved everything about this one. The flow, vocab, descriptions, everything. It's such a raw topic and the two contrasts of death and the search for peace, you puzzled together very well. 5/5 Definately.

    Tammie

  • 16 years ago

    by Leon

    It was quite irregular, which i liked, because it fit with the subject matter... would have like to have known the back ground to it too. will flick through some of your other stuff. well done

  • 16 years ago

    by Shauna

    Great Description..Excellent Writing!

    5.5*
    <33

  • 16 years ago

    by nikki

    Wow. i loved it, the way you expressed this piece was perfect. it was a great poem to read. 5/5

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