Attack Of Pain.

by ABake   Oct 7, 2007


I am an emotional wreck,
Just trying to make it through.
Is that possible?
Where do I go without you?

The pain still attacks me,
It attacks me all the time.
Am I ever going to be happy?
I don't think so, not when your not mine.

I need to move on, but don't really know how.
I don't think I can...
Especially not right now.
My heart is too torn, I am to weak to try.

I pray for strength...
But at then end of each day I am still weak.
I am becoming lifeless...
Everyday becoming more and more bleak...

........I am gone.....

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    "Where do I go without you?" << I think that it would sound better as 'can' instead of 'do'. But, that's just my opinion.

    "I don't think so, not when your not mine." << That line kinda messes up the flow in that one stanza. . . try; ?
    " I don't so, when you aren't mine"
    . . . The 'not' is kind of bam. And, it doesn't go with the poem. the poem is like.. wonderful, beauty almost. Just the way it flows, and the word seems so ugly in it. Lol. :|

    "am to weak" << too*

    I think in the last stanza there was a bit much with the elpipsis. [[sp]]. [[Which is the ...'s]]

    Okay, let me tell you first off.. This poem is amazing. It's like a helpless beauty, exluding the few things I stated above.
    You must remember though, what I think about a poem doesn't apply to everyone's thoughts. Especially yours.
    Don't just change it because someone doesn't like it. It's about what you think and what you like and feel.

    Amazing poem though, darling.
    4/5

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