Time for a change

by Shinobi   Oct 24, 2007


It all begins with a feeling
You see your love one
She is staying away from you
The feeling you get is no fun

You try to speak to her
Shed a tear or two
You cry for love
And become blue

After she sees you sad
She talks to you
Even though you're mad
She says important things to

You need to change in order to make people like you
You are behaving in a bad way
If you want your love life to come true
You should hear what she has to say

Dress nicely
Behave cautiously and carefully
Don't ever insult or comment
And thus your love life will change eventually

If you want to be loved
If you want your love life to come true
It's time for a serious change
It's all up to you

This poem is about a friend of mine. She told me that if I want to be treated nicely, I should change. Maybe she's right, just waiting for her to show me the way...

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    I only havea a few complaints... the rhyming with blue.. and you flow was a a little choppy try getting about hte same amount of slylables in each line.. other than that your work is great.

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Spirit

    Great job this poem really speaks to me i feel as if what you wrote is some how connected to me.
    you are a freat poet keep up the good work.

  • 16 years ago

    by Kyle

    Pretty good poem! it didnt really flow well in some spots but overall it was a good poem! i love the idea behind the poem though, and really if people cant accept you for who you are..then they dont care...unless you are in really bad shape, then yeah, its time to make a change. good poem

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    To be honest I don't like this poem too much. This is just my opinion but I think that rhyming is forced and it isn't to original. Also you could use some metaphors to make this poem look deeper. With stronger words atmosphere that you created would be more powerful. I don't want to offend you, I just think that this poem needs many changes.

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    This was very meaningful. The ideas you expressed are ones many are faced with. The notion of having to change yourself just to be treated differently is confusing. Overall it was a good piece but I do advise you to expand your vocabulary because I know you can. *4/5*

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