Confessions

"I'm you're father...
I love you no matter what."

it's two in the morning and we're screaming outside.

"How was I supposed to know that
If in the first place you never came home.
You're always drunk when you're home.
You're always pissed off at us when you are home.
You think I'm pathetic and worthless."

His face becomes wobbly. Everything I see becomes a
little more wobbly and watery.

"Anna! I'm you're father!
I'll always love you.
You're from me and I have to love you!
But I'm O.K. that you don't love me.
I'm a machine made for making money.
I come home to sleep and leave in the morning
to make money.
I'm your money machine. And I'm fine with that.
But I want you to know,
I love you,
and you are from me and I am your father."

The wind blows harder and my hair sticks on my face.
a bunch get cought by the tears on my cheeks.

"What do you mean I don't love you?!
I love you dad, but I thought you never loved me!
I heard you talking.. I heard you say you've given up
on being a father...that you gave up...trying to be
our father..."

He takes a step back and puts his arms down from his
sides.

"You guys don't love me though. Whenever I come home and
you guys are in the living room, you guys leave when I sit.
You all go into your rooms. So all I have left to do is
shower and sleep. I'm a money machine. I'm O.K. with it.
You're mother doesn't love me. She's always angry at me.
I don't know what to do... I tried... But in the end...
I'm a money machine for this family. I'm not a member...
But I love you guys..."

My heart drops and everything goes silent besides the
words he spoke, which echoed in my head.

"I never knew you felt that way...Dad... I never knew...
I love you dad. I always just thought you never loved us.
I never knew. I'm so sorry we made you feel that way.
I never knew you felt that way...
I love you so much. We love you so much.
But please come home. Please don't drink. Please...
We love you. I love you dad..."

The wind went silent and he walks up to me. He wraps his
arms around me and I found my face point blank on his
chest...

And that night...

His heart beat was steady. The wind blew silently. The leaves ruffled.
The branches creaked. The moon and stars shined brightly.

And eventually...

We went in our house and slept our pain away.