Slaving

by ShawdowDancer   Jan 17, 2008


Sun beaming down

eyes get blurry when looking at the ground

sun rays sting on your back can't take a break cause

Charlie won't cut no slack

Thelma in the kitchen cooking a small bowl or rice

southern style

just enough to make Charlie smile

after a wipen on your back

nice and good

he smiles at you and say:

"don't try it again understood"

you knew you wouldn't get far

as they ride up beside you in their brand new car

admiring you as you run

threating remarks to about shooting you with a gun.

(i will like to know what every one thinks about this poem :)

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Mello193

    I know I already commented but I like reading this again. Good work

  • 16 years ago

    by Soulful Ensemble

    I like your style of writing. Do you like Bob Dylan? You remind me of him. He is a great writer of lyrics.

  • 16 years ago

    by Mello193

    Admiring you as you run

    threating remarks to about shooting you with a gun.

    i really liked that part it was good. kind of odd but in a good way ^^

  • 16 years ago

    by Solus

    Hmmm....interesting. Most wouldn't even try to tackle this subject. There's a sense of despair over this one, but the end seems to stumble over its words. Over all a good piece.