Redeem the Rebirth

by Cheshire Kat   Feb 6, 2008


How many times have we been forced to undergo the test?
How much have we been compelled to forget?
How much must we forgo?
How Much do humans really know?
**********************************************
On land and sky,

In seas and flames,

By the twin spheres in the skys that share the vintage that thy live in,

Lord spareth mortal not the fate of death,

For only one deserveth the right of immortality.

But thee, Man, knowth not the price of sin,

careth not if it shows upon thy skin.

For all you wish, and all you get,

Is punishment for what ye forget.

Into the mortal crimson rush,

That giveth thee air of mortal life.

Into the skin and precious soul

That God give thee and so much more,

The spawns of Satan implants within,

The human life which makes they kin.

Oh, the danger that befalls,

Oh, the danger they ignore.

Into the veins they put the essence,

Injected with magick the watery silver,

Combined and transformed danger to immortality

That poisoned and stole away what Lord granth.

Hear the song of the speech of the new ones,

The hatred, despair and the cries of sorrow.

Feel the everlasting power they absorb,

That cause them to forever see the light of the morrow.

A rebirth has occurred,

And they lose all they love.

For the cost of becoming a New One is

Losing the gift that God hath given.

Feb. 2, 2oo8
Copyrighted NHD

((Note: If you get it, that's great!! and if you don't get it, that's still great!! Really, you probably won't get heads or tails of what's going on, because it refers to a story I'm writing. So I apologize, and hope you like the poem in spite of it all!))

((Note #2: I thought maybe I should also add this. Neon means New One in Greek--thank you Wiki--and Mercury means Liquid Silver in something else ^^"....again, thank you Wiki))

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    Its great and i like how you start with questions to make us think before read and then we read to see what you need to say
    flow nicely well done 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    I'm not used to olde words -- so the first time I read this, it drew a blank and I literally went, HUH? But then I read it again, and now I'm not COMPLETELY lost xD

    But thee, Man, knowth not the price of sin,
    `That line was the first line to really jump out at me. Words that speak such truth -- such reality packed into a few simple words.

    For all you wish, and all you get,
    Is punishment for what ye forget.
    `I loved that -- I don't know why. I don't fully comprehend it, and I can't explain how I'm interpreting it, but they're just mesmerizing.

    The imagery that was illustrated in my mind while reading this was sooooo freaking complicated -- and yet so beautiful in a feiry, evil kind of way. I normally can't stand reading poems that are written in olde, but you kept my attention which is quite hard to do. It was refreshing, rare and quite debonair, I must say. Nice write, hon.

    --..MiNDYY

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    Scratch that: gimme your other title.. i was confusing you with someone else. lol sorry!

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    I don't fully understand, but I'm not totally lost. lol. The only line that threw me off really is the one with "granth" it doesn't seemed to sound right like "grantith.. or granteth" lol.. idk it sounds funny.

    I like the style you put it in. Like a prophet speaking.. condemning the unrighteous.. something of the like.

    Also .. you capitalize a lot of the letters in the beginnig of the lines. and some you don't... Could you capitalize them? I know I'm anal. But it bothers me lol.

    Great Write

    5.5

    Give me your other title and I'll do that one too.

  • 16 years ago

    by Vanessa

    The amount of effort you put in this appears to be tremendous, and the word choice was absoultly amazing, I really loved this poem, in a way I wish I had understood it better, but it is still a well written peiece keep up the good work 5/5

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