"My knight in shining armor turned out to be a LOSER in aluminum foil."

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

"You're not the person that I once knew.
Are you scared to let them know it's you?
If they could only see you like I do,
Then they would see a stranger too."

~Hilary Duff~

"There's no kindness in your eyes,
The way you look at me, it's just not right.
I can tell whats going on this time,
Theres a stranger in my life."

~Hilary Duff~

"Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see"

~One Republic~