If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back." - Al Bundy

Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?