Nevi's Contest Round 3 Results and Winner!!!

The results are in!!! After a trek through a garden of flowers, we took an adventure beneath the stars, all follwed by the catastrophic breakdown of a natural disaster,

a winner emerges

The Results:

Tsunami

It was as if you pulled a stopper out
of the ocean bed, to let the water
retreat down the bay - and leave behind
threads of fungal-brown seaweed,
and smatterings of silver-green mackrel
flipping furiously between slime-coated rocks.

I stood on the beech waiting for it to happen.

Sure enough, the horizon seemed to slowly
hoist itself higher in the sky, as a wall
of water returned with the growing ferocity
of a stampede. The mackrel were all dead
by the time the ocean had reclaimed them,
and in that moment I thought
of how a subtle shift in two connected masses
deep in an unseen part of earth,
could father such force.

Tsunami 8/10

I feel the title was a little obvious, I know the writers were to write about a natural disaster, but I feel the titles could've been done in a more unique way. That being said, I like the meat of the poem. I feel like it was something I would easily witness if I were at the coast during a tsunami, the images were very clear. What I liked most is that this poem did not focus on the destruction that you typically hear of with a tsunami, but more so the images of the 'before'. I loved the idea of pulling out the stopper, as that's what it truly seems like.

TSUNAMAI: 6

Tsunami 5/10
Descriptive, if not original, spelling errors aside. It seems unemotional and detached.
The reader isn't given any human perspective of the disaster; even the speaker, standing on the beech is not real, as though unconcerned for personal safety as the wall of water recedes to the sea. The final lines are so abstract that any hope of a subjective experience is erased.

Total:19/30

Tidal

The wave approaches,
silently.
In the frigid deep
the water pulses
invisibly, lightning
fast.

We are standing on the edge
of a dark river, air puffed like
flowers on our icy breath.

I caper around rocks,
silly with love and cold.
I wonder, idly,
if you would ever
propose to me there,
on the banks of
swift obsidian water.

My phone rings, and
the dark wave crouches
like a beast behind your back
as you turn
to put out your
cigarette.

A question, a few
mumbled words into the
receiver, and you return.

There, for the first time,
you see the water rising
like fate in my eyes.

What's happened, you
say. The wave
roars as it
breaks.

Tidal 9/10

Another poem with a title that doesn't really give much to the imagination. With this poem I feel the writer could've come up with a much more unique title. There were a lot of pieces I really liked about this poem (the idea of proposing on the rocks, bringing a different feel to a disasterous poem, the use of 'caper', and the ending... that ending was great in my opinion). There were a few bits that I feel could be taken out and still give the poem a really strong feel (the pieces about the phone. I didn't feel a strong connection to it in the piece, and think without it, it would still work well). Overall this is my favorite of the three (it was close, they were all good), but this one had a different feeling over all to it.

TIDAL: 8

Tidal 8/10
This poem gives a tidal experience that sweeps the reader up in tension and makes a human connection that the reader can care about. The proposal, if it was that, could have been more clear - we aren't sure if he wasn't just telling her it's time to go. However, the ominous breaking wave works as a metaphor if you assume the call was indeed a proposal, for the breaking wave is the realization that his life has changed irrevocably, as if swept away with the tsunami.

Total: 25/30

Your Natural Disaster

I'm ready now
to break through the crater
of poetry,
for men shall no longer
speak with a floral pen
or, a written tongue
of feminine tendencies.

My metaphorical
magma chambers
shall flow with outrageous
line breaks and excessive ellipses,
for the volcano inside
is ready to erupt anytime,

and you shall watch out
for the lava
that could melt your inside
and the ash cloud
that would engulf your sky.

I'll ever provoke you
and leave you suffering
from aftershocks.

And when you think
you've had enough,
I'll sweep you off the ground
with a 9.88 earthquake
on my poetry scale,
accompanied by
gigantic tsunamis
to relieve your scorching pain.

Still,
I know it wouldn't do you
any good.

You need more of me,
maybe another Katrina
to make you swirl and twirl
while calling my name
or, some meteor showers
for you to learn -
my pen wasn't meant
to be a siren song.

It was born to be
your natural disaster.

Your Natural Disaster 8/10

This poem was very different from the other two, it really set itself apart. I really liked the beginning and was pulled in by the idea of a man being 'manly'. Definitely caught my interest. I like the little bits of alliteration (metaphorical magma), and play on words throughout. The second to last stanza was definitely my favorite, I liked the use of swirl and twirl, and the part about the siren song. I thought that was very interesting. What turned me off were the places of some commas, especially after the line break, and then 'or' beginning the next line with a comma. It felt unnatural to pause there and it threw me off with the fluidity of the poem. Otherwise, it was interesting and fun read!

YOUR NATURAL DISASTER: 7

Your Natural Disaster 6/10
Florid testimony to the power of emotions in conveying both devotion and demands. The speaker has a Red Sonya strength that promises to overwhelm her lover, devoid of tenderness. It works because there is no letdown of this threat to so engulf him that he'll never escape her clutches

Total: 21/30

and the winner is....*drumroll*

Sibyllene! with her poem "Tidal" which earned her highest this round in points, and to victory!!!

Bringing up a close second is Lebanese Phoenix with "Your Natural Disaster"

and Colm bringing home the bronze with "Tsunami"!

Congratulations to Sibs on the win, and to all three of you for making it this far. Everyone please feel free to post your poems to your account, if you so desire.

I would also like to thank you all for your patience with me, and to thank my judges for their help! Reveal yourselves if you wish! :D

Wow!
Congrats to all three of you and Sibs: way to go.

Abed, my apologies, I totally got the gender wrong in my comment. On the other hand, Red Sonya is a pretty manly woman. 8-).

That sybs is a dangerous lioness..

congrats all!

and nevi
m&m is proud of you...for hosting a contest and doing such a..great job..

we love you. x0x0
mwaaaa
:D

Congrats Sib!

Go post that poem :)

It's amazing, really..

lol Larry :p hahahha... I thought that your comment was weird.. (I dont mean it an a mean way.. :P)

Thanks Nevi for this contest. It was really inspiring :)

And congrats to Colm, too.

Why thanks, judges and people! I didn't really mean to write that poem for the contest, but it came to the point where I had to get something in, and that was the only poem that could come out at the moment.

For some clarification: nope, it wasn't about a proposal! When I read through it now I can see that it wasn't very clear. It was about having a good, relaxed time, musing about the future, and then getting some bad news through a phone call and having to figure out how to break it. It's always unsettling when the mood changes so quickly - you get the feeling that the bad things were there all along, just waiting to strike.

Well on that happy note, I've got to go eat breakfast!

I'm excited to see who all wrote which poems for this. And thanks to Nevi for the great prompts - I'm starting to think I won't write anything if there is nobody forcing me to do it!

There, for the first time,
you see the water rising
like fate in my eyes.

What's happened, you
say. The wave
roars as it
breaks.

^ Those two stanzas are............................ freakin shit!

Abed, I think you meant to say "THE freakin' shit."

Oh Sib I should've known it was you! Great job everyone involved! It was hard judging these :)

Thanks Nevi for the contest! Thanks also to the judges and well done to Abed and especially Sibs. When I saw the poem Tidal I thought 'I wish I hadnt written about a tsumani too.' haha. Congrats :)

Congratulations To the winners

I feel the Judges should be recognized for their time and can hardly wait for them to come forward.

Special thanks to the Judge that inspired me to take fillers words such as" the" out of my poem
without it resembling this clip

Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/v...

Thanksgiving wishes from three special guys.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/tonto-tarzan-and-frankenstein/1177608

Mike, I was a judge, and it looks like Larry was too maybe, based on one of his posts. Not 100% ;)

This is amazing, Congrats sibsib, and well done for alllll the poets! Great efforts <3

Thank you Britt most of my favorites won

Great work, guys! Congrats to the three of you and to those who participated!

Thanks judges...

and Jordan.. ur right! :p

Aww :) thanks Yaki! I had fun doing this, and thinking up prompts. I'm glad everyone seemed to enjoy this contest, and congrats to all of you for some poems very well written.

"^ Those two stanzas are............................ freakin shit!"

'Abed, I think you meant to say "THE freakin' shit."'

BAhahahaha! You guys, that cracked me up for real.

Haha, well, I agree with the revised version of that statement. That ending was like a suckerpunch to the chest

Suckerpunch?

Definitely.. lol, I really can't stop imagining the song

BLUE EYES - Mika :)

It matches with that ending.... ah, so refreshing.

Congrats all! A special congrats to Sibs, I didn't guess that poem was yours surprisingly. You were more stealthy this time around :P

Great job Nevi hosting such a wonderful contest, I enjoyed each round.

I was a judge, the slack one without the comments, sorry all I was slammed with final uni exams and now teaching this week etc. I must say some of the poems were amazing, I can't wait to re-read.

Any chance Nevi we could have a list of who wrote what poem for each round or am I pushing it haha.

Also well done other judges and all who participated.

Ah, I could read Sib in each round a mile away. Several thousand miles, in fact. She's a quiet dazzler.

Let it be known that I am an expert in deciphering writing styles. Except Jane's. Her poetry is a loose cannon.

Yeah, why is that anyway? What's wrong with me?

CONGRATULATIONSHIASHSODAS SIBBBYBYYY!!! You got it. You got it.

Represent The Pirate Ship. Oh yeah.

Yes congratulations to Sibs again

I am sure she found Nevi's promps as inspiring as I did

For those interested this is a cue to the only poem I entered

http://www.sacred-destinations.com/israel/jerusalem-via-dolorosa

If anyone could write a poem about a weed and make it sound supernaturally beatiful they would have to have the skill of Sibyllene no sarcasm intended

Pleiades even turned the tide further

Well done Sibs