All Alone

by lish   Apr 18, 2008


Sorry for the pain I caused you
And the nights i made you cry
But you hurt me all the same
I'm not going to lie

The times I needed you the most
You were no-where to be seen
Then you came running back
Not sharing where you'd been

From that moment on
I started to push you away
Our trust went straight downhill
As our relationship started to decay

My daddy had just passed
And I needed someone to care
I turned straight to you
But you were never there

Nine years old and all alone
I wondered if I mattered
I came to realise I didn't
after you left me bruised and battered

A year passed by
And everything stayed the same
Then you found a new man
And into our life he came

I was severely depressed
But you didn't even know
I cut my arms and wrists
And felt extremely low

When I got older
You tried to re-connect
I didn't know what to do
And portrayed the wrong effect

My grades suddenly dropped
And T got into fights at school
My attitude dramatically changed
And I acted like a fool

Suddenly you want to know me
As if you actually care
I couldn't give a flying f...
Cause mum, you were never there

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Vanessa

    The flow was a tad bit off, but the emotion was heartfelt, and strong. The word chose was excellent and the message was clear. Touchingly sad story, hope it's not basied on real life. excellent job. 5/5
    oh yeah heres a tip that helps you spot the flow when its off, reread the poem outloud a couple of days after you read it, it helps to look at it with fresh eyes.

  • 16 years ago

    by sweet escape

    I liked the ammount of emotion and meaning you put into this poem. it is so very strong.

    i give you a 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Shinobi

    This poem is a very touching story of a mother not involved in her daughters life. The choosing of words in this poem does it's best. The rhymes are great, and the structure of the piece couldn't be better. This subject is a very painful one, as I hope it's not based on a true story.
    Amazing work 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    This poem was pretty good
    in the first stanza the flow was off a little bit
    you might want to try something like:
    I'm not going to tell a lie Vs.
    I'm not going to lie
    because then the flow is right on
    the poem itself was good
    as far as the meaning goes
    but structure was off a bit
    I think punctuation would also help
    so I give this a 4.5/5
    rounded to 5

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