Broken ( Triquint)

by Ingrid   Dec 13, 2008


My heart is broken, left in despair
I am crying, but who 'll care?
Nothing left to share
You 're not there
Cries

Came back for one minute, left me there
Your eyes just an empty stare
Nothing left to share
You 're not there
Sighs

This hurts me more than I can bare
You love me, it 's just not fair
Nothing left to share
You 're not there
Ties

Triquint - (Invented by Sylvia) Three verses, five lines each. Lines 3 and 4 verse 1 (Refrain) repeat in verses 2 and 3. Syllable count 9,7,5,3,1.

Rhyme scheme aaAAb (Capital Letters Refrain, Repeated Lines) - The last word in lines 1,2,3,4 each verse rhyme and line 5 each verse rhymes.

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    As usual with your writing, a beautiful, sensitive and loving poem with great imagery.
    Lost love, tragic..

  • 8 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Amazing work.

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Triquint? Another made up form I see, Ingrid, lol!

    First stanza sets the tone of this poem, I feel. Looking again, maybe it's the title!
    Acknowledging from the off here that your 'heart is broken' because whoever you love is simply not there anymore. The 'cries' is so blunt and effective here. Heart-wrenching stuff.

    The second stanza makes me think this might be about someone who is dying and losing clarity? "came back for one minute, your eyes just an empty stare"....I could be wrong though. However, reading it through, that is how I approached the final stanza.

    Then I am more convinced. This person still loves you - 'you love me, it's just not fair' - so I am left thinking it is that yes, they have gone/are going but not from choice - they have been unfairly taken from you.

    Anyway, a clever poem Ingrid and sad indeed and another thank you for teaching me another form that I hadn't heard of.

    All the very best,
    Ben

  • 15 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Excellent write. You did justice to the form with your beautiful sad words. 5/5

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