I READ THIS SEVERAL TIMES, I LOVE IT, VERY GOOD PERSPECTIVE, ON A HOW DAYS GO BY
9 years ago
by The Prince
Everyone's changing and experimenting! It's great!
This poem was easy to read due to the communicative language and simple lexis used. I have some suggestions that you might take on board? This is just my opinion, you can keep it how it is just.
The repetition of 'pointless' then 'point' just seems a bit dull, you could freshen the language up, also the affix 'less' doesn't need to be used twice. Try and approach the matter with different angles. The third and fourth are perhaps better for this. I liked the last line. It was abrupt and it didn't change tone.
Well done for attempting something new here though, I really admire that in you. The title was great too, just gave us an idea of what was to be expected. Not going to dissect this or critic it, I just think you've excelled. :)
Monotony is one of those things that ruin days in our lives. Having the same routine day after day can cause us to reach the point of insanity. If we just change one thing and learn something as you wrote, then we can break the monotonous rituals that drag us down. You have done a wonderful job with this write. 5/5
You have captured something very significant here.
People need to feel this first: to be completely empty..because then they start to wonder and really think...and often end up finding a deeper meaning and themselves as well in the process:)
Good job, sweet girl. A delight to read on a sunny Sunday morning!