I enclose no desire to write about the
country resting in South Asia.
Not to describe the boundaries of the
Indian Ocean on the south, the Arabian Sea
on the southwest, nor the Bay of Bengal
on the southeast.
For he represents the solo boundaries
that I could ever portray.
Born in Amritsar though sometimes
I felt like my heart was intended to be
India, is the color in his coffee eyes,
the space flowing in the core of his
The rivers of sensations that can
never find an end to achieve,
and sometimes India is the loads
of sentiments that he fails to control.
breaks by each dawn that almost
echoes the color of his skin,
as I try to define him through his
homeland, then struggle to reach his
homeland through him!
Forgive me, for I won't rest until
my words reach for you like a
diving bell that tunes eternally.
Because until you come back,
I have no reason to understand
the rounds of this world,
nor the roads engraved on maps.
Dear...India is anywhere your scent
passes by, and I plan to carve a
new India until I run out of time.
I have to admit that I didn't bother to read on when I began with your first stanza, as they were full of facts that are also known without the help of a poem. But there was something about your emotions in this very same stanza, the sadness that you deliver with the oh-so negative "not's" and the last two lines that suddenly take you away from these geographical facts. When I read it, I knew there was something personal going on. Thence I began to appreciate the facts you stated in this very same stanza, as they create a lovely contrast between the rest of the poem, making the last two lines of the beginning stanza so much stronger.
I really like the way you said
"I felt like my heart was intended to be
^ because it shows how much you care about him and his background. The fact that you even feel like your heart belongs to the country he's from, is touching.
The third stanza consists of another lovely contrast. As you juxtapose the colour of his eyes, his India, to his emotional states. Those seem to be swingy and untameable, just like the rage of a river.
After these lines, you seem to focus more on your own emotions rather than his, and I think that's what makes this poem so strong. You talk about both yours and his emotions, making the poem versatile.
Really powerful ending, with its rhyme, its lovely "dear" and its repetition of "India" to refocus on the whole scar in the relationship.