Comments : 00:00

  • 5 years ago

    by Jordan

    I like the ending a lot. At work on my cell, will give a better comment later.

  • 5 years ago

    by Jad

    It's been a while since I have read some of your work, but this title really garbed my attention and I really, really impressed with the poem. The poem has a good structure and the flow is good through all the poem though at times it seems to go off but it quickly comes back in the next line.

    Your imagery is very powerful in this poem and it creates many of the images we see and feel throughout the poem. You do a good job at expressing your feelings though these images. One can feel the emotions of curiosity and wanting to know what their is to know. The poem is very thought provoking and is open to interpretation. I get many different thoughts reading through this poem. It makes me think about how we look at what's going to happen and how everything we do at this moment is going to affect it. Just my thought. :]

    All in all, I really liked this poem and the concept. It's really creative and the title really fits in well with the message. I am glad to see that your poetry is becoming more and more thought provoking and strong. Can't wait to read more in the future. Great job and keep writing!

  • 5 years ago

    by Karla

    The beginning of a new day is a paradox: we are hopeful for it will bring something different but at the same time we fear all the possibilities about to happen. We want changes but we are never prepared to embrace them. We want to be a better someone but the beast inside devouring us shows we can't believe in ourselves anymore or maybe faith can't sustain ourselves anymore underneath a godless sun. I suppose it is easier to be skeptical and even cynical about life because we expect nothing from it and we give nothing in return too. Sometimes I wonder if life is getting virtual and I don't live it or replensh it with feelings and above all, with hope. In the end it is more comfortable to believe things will be better otherwise our existence is a dessacralized rite of sadness and imperfection. At the midnight of the planet and with all the horrible things happening around the world, I don't want to be exiled in myself, stuck behind my heart and lack of courage. I might know that tomorrow will be like today but if I stop believing my life will be worst and meaningless. Thanks for making me dive inside myself. Great piece.

  • 5 years ago

    by Decayed

    A very unique piece, indeed.
    I love the questions. And the most powerful part is the intro, so freakin deep.

  • 5 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    This piece got me glued, the 1st and 2nd stanza blew me off. The ending gave it the final polish it needed. I'm really besieged and speechless.

    A nicely penned classic of self-discovery, doubts, restrained emotions and seeking for sanctuary through answers and divine rescue.

    Your a genius, stay blessed. Cheers! :)..

  • 5 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    Judge's comments :

    What really caught me with this piece was the third stanza

    "Because what if I lose this feeling?
    What if sleep is the nocturnal beast
    with a wolf's grin in a lamb's coat,
    come to steal my midnight dreaming
    of a better me
    in a better tomorrow?"

    Why because ive been there, who hasn't had clarity of reason, thoughts we may lose to sleep, then the waking hours. You conveyed this brilliantly. As Karla has said, the paradox of a new day, a frightening concept at times and yes one we are hesitant to unwrap at times. Yet you ask this question of yourself with what it would seem gritty determination that you will go forward. This is a mature piece from a poet that understands her craft. It has been has been wonderfully constructed from beginning to a strong climatic end. kudos
    10 points

    -

  • 5 years ago

    by Decayed

    Congrats on the win, very well deserved, and I always keep on reading the first stanza the most because it's golden!

  • 5 years ago

    by Merci Perpe

    I really love this poem, it's a great piece!

  • 5 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Congrats on the win, very deserving to be on the front page.

    The title itself is original, for it would be easy to name it "Midnight", but you took an option that gave it more noticeabilty, not that it needs it, for it is exceptionally worded

    The flow is flawless and the imagery is really vivid and powerful,
    The beginning of a new day brings new fears, new hopes, new dreams, and this hour I feel myself is the most apparant of life, that transition of newness yet clarity of emotion and thought

    Really awesome piece
    Totally deserved to win

    :)
    Love

  • 5 years ago

    by alka mendiratta

    Congrats on the win.Very thought provoking write with a great flow and a powerful imagery.

  • 5 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    This poem is such a Star.. ugh.

    I'll leave a better comment.. but ..just,

    ugh..

    Darn you.

  • 5 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    You posted this before I came back right?
    I remember I was studying and then on my study breaks I would roam around here like a mischievious little beast, being angry because I couldn't comment.

    I was so happy to see this poem won,
    and lonely mountain better win on Monday or I'll scream.

    lately miss..WHAT IS HAPPENING?
    is there anything you are eating? no? yes? yes? Can I have the recipe? Can I take a bite atleast? :'(

    you are turning into such a beast,
    not that you weren't..but I mean DANG.

    "She's calling to me, "Here.
    Here is all you ever need to be."
    But, like me, she's too easy to take for granted.

    Because what if I lose this feeling?
    What if sleep is the nocturnal beast
    with a wolf's grin in a lamb's coat,
    come to steal my midnight dreaming
    of a better me
    in a better tomorrow?"

    those parts made the piece for me.
    pure beauty.

    I can't find a thing I don't like about this poem, I like the doubt, the scenario..the nostalgia, its like your own mind is playing tricks on you..while on some parts of it, you seem really certain of things, (promises I didn't say,but I kept)
    on others you trail off slightly,
    (what if I lose this?)

    But in a gorgeous poetic way..

    the word choice was very tasteful,specially the stars part...

    I love the number title and how it actually covers the whole content of the poem...because you know titles are usually the hardest part.

    this write held so much emotion,I can't even..

    to me, it seems that you're in a growing process at the moment..and it reflects in your writes..

    I look forward for more..

    ...I am READY.

  • 5 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    An outstanding and poignant piece of art reflecting on life's ambiguities, evanescence, indecisions, and the lessons learned, for those who have faced them.....exposing life's vulnerabilities, so very true. Life and love can bloom but also can wilt really fast, if the gardener does not know how to nurture the delicate flower right. Moments of sky high hopes can suddenly vanish in no time. Just ask the moonflower (aka midnight flower) that blooms only once a year, unfolding its beauty, splendor and fragrance, just for a night, only to shrivel and wilt away by the morning. The author did well to capture this evanesacence in a heartbreak here. Here is a link to see the moonflower's (aka midnight flower) bloom and die cycle, to taste its ephemeral beauty, and fully appreciate the author's opening lines of this poem:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM7MjqU8YpM

    Apprehension reigns in the poetess's thoughts, throughout, that will move the readers, particularly those who can relate. The feelings portrayed here are delicate, just like a silkworm's coccon hanging by a delicate silk thread of a mulberry leaf:

    "skeptical on the ridge of tomorrow,
    hanging like a silkworm's cocoon"

    The poem will strike a cord with all those who thought they had everything in love or life, but suddenly lose everything. An imagery of confusion and uncertainties in life can sometimes be so unnerving:

    "What if all I ever could be
    is weighing on this moment?"

    And the doubts, and the blame on self (though it may not be one's fault)

    "What if I'm the same as yesterday,
    and nothing changes?"

    But, the hope of a new beginning is not yet lost:

    "In this unknowing,
    a delicate gift of a new day
    is begging to be unwrapped,"

    Nevertheless, the dubiety reigns, and vulnerable thoughts surface in a evocative ending:

    "What if I'm the same as yesterday,
    and nothing changes?

    Then I will be as contemptible
    as the keyboard I've spent the last hour talking to,
    (and I'm damn sure it's not alive)."

    This poem is deserving to be on the front page for reasons more than one. It portrays the impermanence of life and love, symbolically like the moonflower, and the lessons that are learned from it. However, I strongly believe that each such experience help foster the strength and shape of the individual in us to face a hopeful tomorrow, with greater humility and character, destroyed by our vulnerability or mistakes. The longer the cocoon stays on the mulberry leaf, the stronger and finer (and more valuable) will be its (silk) thread from which it is suspended.

    (Judging 2-26-12)

  • 5 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    I like, like, LIKE this enough to come back to it everytime I feel lonely and in need of an inspiration. Creativity dripping all throughout the piece, starting from the title. Damn.

    I like how you started with that sad, tender accent (that I heard in my mind). How you could go describing it so purely. Then as I came closer to the ending, I felt TONS of wisdom here and there. TONS of emotions. I was left speechless. I swear.

    I will come later with a giant comment. Be pending.