Her hurt has now lived with her much longer than she ever lived without the hurt. Her innocent life ended with his first touch. Knowing her needs and the neglect life lay at her feet her dark demon filled her life with things other little girls wanted and had. He knew how to make her dysfunctional life seem almost normal. Until one day she realized to get something she had too give something. It didn't take long for her to realize to get a few moments of happiness she deserved (for she was just a child), she was going to have too have many moments of misery.
This revelation she had just had hit her so hard it was as though her guts had been ripped out. Over time she found a way to mentally survive. In those moments of his pleasure she took her mind to a field full of Sunflowers. In that field she found herself playing games with other children such as hide and seek, ring around the Rosie's, pocket full of Posy's, and would pet her puppy, she loved puppies and she had her very own that lived right there in that beautiful field. The field was unlike life because there was no rain, no sadness, no neglect or loneliness. When her Dark Angel climbed off her and life began to return to normal she forced herself to return home from the field until his next visit. She no longer desired the things that little girls like, such as dolls, cute clothes, etc, because they were nothing more than gifts to ease the conscience of someone who was suppose to love and protect her, not hurt and abuse her.
As she grew older her heart became hardened and impenetrable. She learned how to make friends without growing attached, she learned how to use ones sexual desires to get what she needed and walk away leaving their heart hard like hers. This was not who she really was but it was who she had to be, never again will she allow herself to be hurt, never again will she open up or grow attached to someone enough to fall in love.
