John doe

Judging comment:

Adore the first line. So often we see without really seeing things. The use-age of half stitched smile makes me think that the smile is painted on and tightly held but not a real one.

"Breathing but still asphyxiated " This was by far in my opinion the most powerful line and it stands out from the rest of the piece. It makes me think about how often we're dragged down by life and struggle to survive, in essence-painting on a smile daily.

The next few lines paint the image of someone in a coma- wordless pleas, silence, lifeless body, imprisonment. Which again reinforces the idea of life bringing us down.

I particularly love the last two lines, such intensity in that open ended question. Very powerful write.

WOW! very well constructed. Leaves me speechless. It's flawless!

I like this poem sooo much. It's really very good.

Holy cow, this piece is seriously flawless. You did a PHENOMENAL job portraying these emotions! I think this write is relatable to a lot of other women (and men) out there.

It is hard work loving someone who was broken by another before you. It is frustrating to be punished by a love that cannot be reciprocated. It is frustrating that we cannot blame them for how they are, and even more-so that we cannot change that about them. All we can do is love them for who they are, and hope that one day it is returned.

The line "I felt the silence camping within" is a perfect metaphor for this.

Amazing write, favorited. 5/5

Powerful