John doe

by Meme   Jul 4, 2015


Eyes gazing but not looking
Dimples holding a half stitched smile
Standing as tall as his pain allows
But I could smell his brokenness

Tracing the lines of his face
His skin was familiar to the touch
Shaking his head from my embrace
I felt the silence camping within

Breathing but still asphyxiated
In a lifeless body imprisoning him
I inhaled the chills in his breaths
Only to read the man underneath

Wordless pleads escaped his lips
But no dictionaries could succeed
Translating silence surpassed me
I wished I could mend his heart

He stayed
And I stayed
He exhaled
And I inhaled
He breathed
And I lived
He awaited
And I asked

....Who were you
before they broke your heart..?

4


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    Adore the first line. So often we see without really seeing things. The use-age of half stitched smile makes me think that the smile is painted on and tightly held but not a real one.

    "Breathing but still asphyxiated " This was by far in my opinion the most powerful line and it stands out from the rest of the piece. It makes me think about how often we're dragged down by life and struggle to survive, in essence-painting on a smile daily.

    The next few lines paint the image of someone in a coma- wordless pleas, silence, lifeless body, imprisonment. Which again reinforces the idea of life bringing us down.

    I particularly love the last two lines, such intensity in that open ended question. Very powerful write.

  • 2 years ago

    by JB Guancia Dormido

    WOW! very well constructed. Leaves me speechless. It's flawless!

  • 2 years ago

    by Claire Morris

    I like this poem sooo much. It's really very good.

  • 2 years ago

    by JaneDoeWrites

    Holy cow, this piece is seriously flawless. You did a PHENOMENAL job portraying these emotions! I think this write is relatable to a lot of other women (and men) out there.

    It is hard work loving someone who was broken by another before you. It is frustrating to be punished by a love that cannot be reciprocated. It is frustrating that we cannot blame them for how they are, and even more-so that we cannot change that about them. All we can do is love them for who they are, and hope that one day it is returned.

    The line "I felt the silence camping within" is a perfect metaphor for this.

    Amazing write, favorited. 5/5

    • 2 years ago

      by Meme

      Thank you sooo much :)

  • 2 years ago

    by Jamparnell

    Powerful

    • 2 years ago

      by Meme

      Thanks :)