Un-Ode to Burden

by Sunshine   Jul 10, 2016


What if the sky is made
of trees, the sun of white silk
and colorful jelly beans

What if street lights smile
back, if graves are music boxes
of life rays & joy beams

Perhaps roads could reach
the clouds, and roses are
of crystals and rainbow ice..

What if life was not too tough,
perhaps a little less stiff
a little more cozy & nice.

What if she was a happier person
not as hollow and stitched
not so dreamy and broken

A wall, a stone, a paper,
a reflection of anything
unfamiliar with the word burden.

By Rania Moallem

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Judging Comment:

    The imagery in this piece is the aspect that catches my eye the most. I was intrigued by the lighthearted nature to the descriptions and how the connotations of nearly every word were something at least pleasant while the purpose of this piece was certainly not to entertain - I suppose all I mean to say is that I enjoy the juxtaposition here as well as the effort to write in a pleasing manner while conveying much more depth. There are a few ways that I was able to take this piece, and that is something that truly allows poetry to transcend from generation to generation as well as from author to audience. I was absolutely entranced by this piece this week, and I'm so sorry I don't have more to say about it, I am just so speechless.

  • 9 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment

    This poem was dreamy, mystical and magical... I adore the word usage within this piece!

    The "crystals and rainbow ice" are very powerful within this poem... because the underlined message within is the sorrow and burdens of the person.... The world wants to see sunshine, even when the sun feels cloudy.... just my thoughts..

    Truly adored this poem!

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Yes what if's...and the world will be a lovely place filled with harmony...this truly brings a smile to the face..nicely penned and congrats on the win!

  • 9 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I read this the other day and was thoroughly impressed with it then. I am equally impressed on the second read!

    By the way, congratulations on this much deserved win,

    SL

  • 9 years ago

    by Liz

    Beautiful. Congrats on your well deserved win!

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