Tales of a Bag Lady (Part I)

by Hellon   Dec 3, 2016


The shopping mall
was still quite empty
as it was only 7.50am

yet...

As I mounted the travelator
I saw her combing her
black hair, checking her reflection
in one of the glass panels

and...

As she clipped a perky red
poinsettia into her hair
my legs created a shadow
on her 'mirror'.

For a second our eyes met
and, although we realised
our lives were very different
we both knew that
appearances still count.

Her trolley told me she was
a homeless person
her demeanour told me
she was a lady...

What was her story I wondered
as she faded from view...

@Hellon 3rd December 2016

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  • 10 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Nicely executed. The story is outlined: two ladies brief liason on adjacent travellators. This scene is more about the shared unspoken dialogue. It begs the reader to wonder what the back story is.

    Just a suggestion, if the poem faded instead of an end question it would stand alone, whilst still setting up the prequel.

    Like this:

    What was her name I wondered,

    as she faded from view...

    Just an idea. ;)

    Take care,

    Michael x

    • 10 months ago

      by Hellon

      I like your idea Michael and I have changed it around....thanks for that :)

  • 10 months ago

    by Em

    I really enjoyed this Hellon