Interesting piece. I would not have guessed it was a quick write. The formatting is well done, although the really long line kicking off your second stanza does hinder your flow a little bit. Which seems unlike you, but hey that could be the quickwrite evidence :) Your imagery in this is fantastic, I totally believe that you were witnessing this feeling or moment at some point in time, and you completely transported me to the same moment. I have mixed feelings about punctuation in poetry, but you really pulled off your uses of it in this piece - the completely add to the write.