by Alex Penuelas   Jun 14, 2017

It's been roughly
three years since
I lost my best friend.

Or rather,
she lost me.

I still remember
vividly how
we used to hang out
Every chance we could,
And in each moment, we would
Spend our time to
Cherish one another,
To be glad to
Be able to
Confess our secrets to one another,
To openly say
How much we loved one another.

That was,
Until three years ago.

That was,
Until you no longer saw me
As a brother from another mother,
And saw me as
Demonic hellspawn.

I remember when we had our argument.

I'll never forget that day.

That day when
You wished that I just kept
My big mouth shut
When your mother was saying
That the world would be better
If we all served gods will.

I couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore,
I couldn't keep what I truly felt
About that book of fables
For so long anymore
My love.

I just couldn't.

Because I remember that
You and I made a pact
To always fight for the
Rights of everybody,
No matter what they believed in,
No matter where they came from,
No matter who they loved,
Or what they wanted to wear on the
Temple they call their skin.

I really thought that
You would be open enough
To understand why I
Could not,
Nor will not,
Let what your mother said slide
Through my fingers.

Because you and I both knew
Exactly what she meant.

She wanted uniformity of ideals,
Uniformity of beliefs,
Because hey,
Every knee shall bow to God,

Except... when they don't.

I'm sorry,
But I would not
Submit my mind to
Such an entity,
An entity who,
Since history can remember,
Was used by men to
Justify the worst atrocities ever committed.

Looking back at what happened,
I figure I should have been more polite,
That I should have been more understanding,
That i should have catered my speech
To my intended audience more effectively.

But, it was done.

I told her how this
Country that you and I call home
Was founded upon the idea of the
Separation of church and state,
And that anybody,
No matter what they believed,
Should be free to believe in
Whatever God
(Or no God at all)
They saw fit.

That... didn't end well, you see,
Because immediately after that
She was at my throat,
Calling me a lunatic,
And a miserable godless satanic heathen,
Simply because I didn't subscribe to
Her beliefs.

And sadly,
I see that you also echoed
Your mother's wishes
And similarly cursed me
Out of the 5 years
We have known and loved for
One another,
Over a disagreement of beliefs.

I know now that you
Never want to hear
Any words from me ever again,
But I want you to know
That i hope that everything is going well,
That you're having a happy, fulfilled life,
And that you and your loved ones
Would have a bright future.

And hey,
I still have a Coke for you,
If you want to share it.


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Alex, such a personal write that shows how much this person meant to you and how much she hurt you. There's nothing wrong in believing in something or somebody but when you put blinders on and the only person that's right is the one who believes the exact same thing you do and everyone else is wrong, well, that's just wrong. I grew up with organized religion but have distanced myself as I have gotten older, some of the rigidity just rubs me the wrong way. I will never lose my faith but I have tried to be a more open and understanding person to all that people believe or are. Well done and thank you for sharing this-

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Alex.. this is so so personal.

    I bow my head to your strength of sharing this,


  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Wow Alex, What a heartfelt piece. I have no words for this kind of heartache, but if you didnt stand up to her mother, imagine how you would be now.. a different person, one who couldnt express himself as freely as you do! Im glad you did it and took a stand! Well done.

    • 1 year ago

      by Alex Penuelas

      Thank you so much. The thoughts of this haven't left my mind. I'm disappointed that it ended like this.

  • 1 year ago

    by mossgirl19

    Wow, Alex. What a sad tale beautifully presented. First of all, I'd like to say that I believe in God but I believe too that I cannot force that belief upon anyone. Your story is very true, as it always happens. Such a belief is laid waste when the person talking about that belief does not even understand what it means to love after all.

    It is tragic that people have used this belief as a license to impose rather than a license to understand and love.

    Another great, honest piece from you.

    • 1 year ago

      by Alex Penuelas

      Thank you so much. The thoughts of this haven't left my mind. I'm disappointed that it ended like this.

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