Broken Chair

by Lauren Crandall   Jul 7, 2017

In a broken wooden rocking chair,
I cut my long, vermilion hair.

Yank it, pull it tight,
chop it off.
Daddy, does it look alright?

Rusted scissors,
do the job.
Slice and dice,
Poke and prod.
Am I done shaming you God?

On this broken wooden rocking chair,
My father used to braid my hair.
He'd yank it, pull it tight.
Pleat it,
But it'd look alright.

Years went by and I was gone.
To find another girl to fawn.
I'd braid her hair,
on stools and chairs,
on leather couches, and porch stairs.
I learned to love,
I learned to care.

I take the scissors,
and hold them close,
Chop the hair he loved the most.

Stand up and light the hair ablaze,
Fire burning fire,
Standing, watching in a daze.

The broken wooden rocking chair,
covered in my burning hair,
Shimmering reds, and flickering shadows,
A dulling heat fills the smoky air.

Walk through dancing flames,
Toward the soon-to-be burning door,
Blow a kiss to my father,
Lying dead on the floor.


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Ren

    WOW! This is intense! Very well written with amazing imagery! Well done!

    • 1 year ago

      by Lauren Crandall

      Thank you!! I wrote it off a prompt for a local poetry group. I'm debating reading it at this week's slam. :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Great imagery and emotion with a strong story theme x

  • 1 year ago

    by BlueJay

    So I am a huge fan of imagery in poems and this one definitely has that, but I think the repetition of the word "fire" could have been a little more diverse, especially for someone with your knack for imagery.

    • 1 year ago

      by Lauren Crandall

      Thanks for the comment. I definitely don't wish to be repetitive, but I also went back through the poem and I only use "fire" twice, and "firebreathing" once. I'm not sure which to cut out, as the line "fire burning fire" was intentionally repetitive, as it's meant to be a take on fighting fire with fire.
      I really do take all comments and critiques seriously though! If you have any other suggestions as to what to switch I would love to hear it. I don't particularly love "firebreathing" but I couldn't think of another word that evoked the same idea without just saying "red, wavy hair".

      Thank you!

  • 1 year ago

    by Michael

    A fine piece of writing Lauren, with great imagery :)

    Michael :)

    • 1 year ago

      by Lauren Crandall

      Thank you! I used to write cheesy emo poems about how I hated my life. Now it seems I write dark poems about getting revenge on those who royally screwed me over! Sometimes I thought I was being melodramatic in my teenybopper poetry and how depressing it was, but as the years have gone by I still am angry and upset. I might as well use that emotion, right?

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This is excellent wordplay. Really well written throughout.

    All the very best,


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