You know what I truly enjoy about your writings, Shane? It's that it always feels like you're pouring your heart, mind, and soul into the pieces and giving us a glimpse of what's inside, just a glimpse. Your writings are wonderful as always. I never read a poem for you just once. I read it once then give myself a day or two then come again. That's how much I love the depth in your poetry.
I enjoyed this so much. And I want to sincerely thank you because I'm trying so hard to get back to writing and your pieces are profoundly helping me do that :)
You have put in your whole heart and soul into it and
brought it out into the open! I like the emotions that has
been not displayed but “said” the feelings felt instead of
just tagged. I also like the break between the stanzas with
the word “drop” running down. This poem though long it
was worth the read!! Excellent!!
Poems are subjective and so what pleases one reader may not appeal to another. Also different readers have different interpretations of what they are reading. Congratulations on a well deserved win. I would like to leave you my comments and interpretation of this winning piece.
For me this is a thought provoking piece which takes us on a journey through the mind of a man who once thought friendship could be something more. He dreamed of a world where the woman he loved might just one day travel the world he had imagined with him but sadly she doesn't share his dream and the journey rapidly descends into a tale of two star struck lovers kept apart through circumstance.
The first part of the poem leads us through seasonal pleasures like the rays of Summer,
snowflakes of winter, songs of Spring and walking through the leaves of Autumn. The things
you notice most when you are with the love of your life. A memory of something that they once shared. The comparison the writer gives now is that there is no joy or movement between the seasons for him, his life has lost momentum without her presence.
He is left drowning in a monsoon his heart cold, lost and adrift. The writer reminisces that their
meeting was an accident which to him became so much more than a simple blessing. Everything was in alignment and he felt his life was beautiful like a well written poem floating in the stars. It was to him a heavenly time.
Then one fateful day everything became cursed and it seemed that he had moved into a parallel
universe and not a place he wished to be. As the darkness envelopes his life the poem changed in tone
and becomes more intricate in its imagery. Emotion paints a darker picture of lost tranquillity,guilt, choices and mistakes made.
All is unravelling and the writer attempts to show her through poetry how he feels. She rejects him and the gap between them grows. Finally in the last stanza is the subtle almost missed reveal that she is married and that whilst she is not happily married she believes strongly in the devotion and fidelity of marriage and will not consider betrayal.
Despite all of the this the writer will not give up on his love and instead speaks of his hope that one day she will remove this curtain of fidelity that keeps them apart and that they will then be together finally in the beautiful world that he imagines for them both
A beautiful story of love unfulfilled with subtle intricacies which has all the thrill of a Romeo and Juliet style romance. The thought that they could both find happiness in a different world but are instead trapped kept apart by a tiny word "constancy" (constancy meaning quality of being faithful, fidelity) is to me romantic at so many different levels.
An excellent poem well done. All my best wishes Milly x