Parallel universe

by Ya----Na   Feb 4, 2018

Seasons come and go,
but it's always the same for me.

Ever since you have gone:
I haven't bathed in the rays of the summer,
tasted snowflakes of the winter,
heard songs of the spring,
walked through the leaves of the autumn.

Just an endless monsoon,
in which my heart is drowning,
nothing more.

Meeting you was a happy accident,
knowing you was more than a blessing.

Our love was a well-written poem
in between the stars with a


of the moon
until I cursed it with a title
'parallel universe.'

Now, I am a perplexed traveler
imprisoned in between
the reflections of tranquility and guilt
a baggage of death left for millennial.

Yes, I know
creating portraits of our dreadful mistakes
is not poetry,
and it's been a while since you forbade me
from the shores of your dreams
yet everything I write is
always about you.

Just in case,
you remove the curtains of constancy,
and I get another chance to breathe
in that world
I once imagined with you.


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Latest Comments

  • 5 months ago

    by Nee

    You know what I truly enjoy about your writings, Shane? It's that it always feels like you're pouring your heart, mind, and soul into the pieces and giving us a glimpse of what's inside, just a glimpse. Your writings are wonderful as always. I never read a poem for you just once. I read it once then give myself a day or two then come again. That's how much I love the depth in your poetry.

    I enjoyed this so much. And I want to sincerely thank you because I'm trying so hard to get back to writing and your pieces are profoundly helping me do that :)

    Never stop writing, ever!

  • 5 months ago

    by Meena Krish

    Sub judge Comment:

    You have put in your whole heart and soul into it and
    brought it out into the open! I like the emotions that has
    been not displayed but “said” the feelings felt instead of
    just tagged. I also like the break between the stanzas with
    the word “drop” running down. This poem though long it
    was worth the read!! Excellent!!

    Congrats on the Win!

  • 5 months ago

    by C Cattaway

    Gosh. This is beautiful.
    Congratulations on your win.
    Catherine x

  • 6 months ago

    by Poetess

    Congrats on your win!

  • 6 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Poems are subjective and so what pleases one reader may not appeal to another. Also different readers have different interpretations of what they are reading. Congratulations on a well deserved win. I would like to leave you my comments and interpretation of this winning piece.

    For me this is a thought provoking piece which takes us on a journey through the mind of a man who once thought friendship could be something more. He dreamed of a world where the woman he loved might just one day travel the world he had imagined with him but sadly she doesn't share his dream and the journey rapidly descends into a tale of two star struck lovers kept apart through circumstance.

    The first part of the poem leads us through seasonal pleasures like the rays of Summer,
    snowflakes of winter, songs of Spring and walking through the leaves of Autumn. The things
    you notice most when you are with the love of your life. A memory of something that they once shared. The comparison the writer gives now is that there is no joy or movement between the seasons for him, his life has lost momentum without her presence.

    He is left drowning in a monsoon his heart cold, lost and adrift. The writer reminisces that their
    meeting was an accident which to him became so much more than a simple blessing. Everything was in alignment and he felt his life was beautiful like a well written poem floating in the stars. It was to him a heavenly time.

    Then one fateful day everything became cursed and it seemed that he had moved into a parallel
    universe and not a place he wished to be. As the darkness envelopes his life the poem changed in tone
    and becomes more intricate in its imagery. Emotion paints a darker picture of lost tranquillity,guilt, choices and mistakes made.

    All is unravelling and the writer attempts to show her through poetry how he feels. She rejects him and the gap between them grows. Finally in the last stanza is the subtle almost missed reveal that she is married and that whilst she is not happily married she believes strongly in the devotion and fidelity of marriage and will not consider betrayal.

    Despite all of the this the writer will not give up on his love and instead speaks of his hope that one day she will remove this curtain of fidelity that keeps them apart and that they will then be together finally in the beautiful world that he imagines for them both

    A beautiful story of love unfulfilled with subtle intricacies which has all the thrill of a Romeo and Juliet style romance. The thought that they could both find happiness in a different world but are instead trapped kept apart by a tiny word "constancy" (constancy meaning quality of being faithful, fidelity) is to me romantic at so many different levels.

    An excellent poem well done. All my best wishes Milly x

    • 6 months ago

      by Ya----Na

      Thank milly and yes you are right about everything.

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