A naÃ¯ve youth
Her name is Ruth
Her looks were often repute
This bordered on beautiful and cute.
Her skin tone is milky with a hint of chocolate
Her facial features are symmetrically accurate
Eyes are light blue mixed in with grass green
A look would suggest she was fifteen.
A single awed glance makes her blush
To a colour of rosy flush
She is youth personified
An independent woman
Her name is Diane
Caring mostly her financial future and her work
Haughtily bragging with a smirk
Her skin tone is coffee with cream
Skin glowing with a gleam
Men flocking to her on bended knee
Evaluating her to Aphrodite.
A single woman is she
Sleeping with men freely
A harlot is often what she is called
She thought â€œWhy do women get to be called thatâ€
Sighing, â€œWhen men do it, they are applauded for that.â€
Not like any other
Protective of her kin
Many call her Lynn.
Frumpy and bloated she hardly cares for her looks
Taking the money she earns to buy her kids expensive things and books
A person asked â€œWhy not take care of your looksâ€
She said â€œI want my children successful, so to do that I have to buy them books.â€
A great mother is her goal
She is on a roll
Her first priority is her kids
Wishing to turn her seeds into orchids.
A cantankerous crone
Her name is Joan
Nagging and complaining about her long gone days
Wishing for the beauty that was always praised.
Her face is haggard, her skin tone banshee white
Once a face that inspired poets and musicianâ€™s bright
Liver spots engraved in her hands, to claim she is old
Her personality once sunny, became bitter and cold.
A woman lost
Now the bride of frost
The things that made her what she is
Her best known assets perished
Like a full bodied ale losing it's fizz.
I love the idea of this. I think there are things that can be worked on, but overall it's very original and impressive. There are only a few things that I noticed that might have thrown off the flow though:
in the Autumn stanza, you use two of the words twice. "book" and "look" are the only two words used at the end of all four sentences, I think it just deviates from the stanza because it makes the reader want to think of other lines that would work instead of using the two same words.
Also, in the Winter stanza, the end line kind of sounds like something I would hear in a rap. I think it was a bad simile to use in this kind of poem, it's not as pure and beautiful as the rest of the words used. It kind of takes the classical-ness out of the poem.
Those are the only things that popped out at me as I was reading. Other than that, it is a wonderful poem and the idea is fantastic.