This was brilliant. The rhyme was well threaded into this piece and the use of imagery and metaphores in this poem were amazing. The only suggestion I have is if you use the appropriate punctuation marks within your stanzas, the poem will read much more smoothly. But on a whole, very well done :).
Not so captivating to me but the chosen words somehow impressed me so as the imagination...it bring one eerie scenario in my head, a great picture of catastrophe.. great job very soothable for a person who is experiencing vivid depression and sadness.