You and I

by Faithless Watermelon   Mar 8, 2008


What goes on up there?
Do all the voices blare?
Is it all too much?
Have you lost your last crutch?

Perhaps all is well,
Life is as smooth as gel,
You already forgot my gaze,
If you see it again I'll set your mind ablaze..

You always come and go,
The answer is always no;
I would like to put you in a hole,
So that I could scream at your soul..

What are we waiting for?
I'm not afraid of blood and gore..
Are you too old and sore?
I'll fight one hell of a war!

But maybe it's me,
I'm so dumb that I can't see;
It's so sad that neither can you;
I'm in control -It's just a simple coup-

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Alexandraa

    This is really , really good, it sounds a bit more simple then some of your other poems but thats what makes it diffrent . Great one. X

  • 16 years ago

    by SiLeNtLy ScReAmInG

    This is a pretty good poem. some of the rhyming seemed a little forced though. I mean it rhymed, but it seemed like the way the sentence was structure was just so it could rhyme on some of the lines. I got the overall poem, but there were pieces that were confusing or vague. I really did like the descriptions though. They were easy to picture like the blood and gore it went very nicely with the line about war and that is an image easy to recognize. I might not make any sense, but hopefully you'll understand what I meant. I give you a 4/5. it's a good poem, but i think you show potential that you could make it great.

  • 16 years ago

    by Abha

    Flawless and beautiful

  • 16 years ago

    by maEve may

    ..so dramatic..love this!:) 5/5..

  • 16 years ago

    by L3AH

    I really like this poem of yours casey.

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