Flame Of Love

by Teria   Mar 11, 2008

Flame Of Love.

It's a heart too feeble to start a conversation,
and a mind too ill to touch the sky.
It's a feeling too strong to cross the border,
and a line to thick to begin to part.

It's more than I've asked for,
and more than I've wanted.
It's too strong for me to break
and I need you here and now.

You're too far to wipe the tears,
from your needy daughters eyes,
and too far to see the pain -
caused yet in disguise.

It's a flame of love ignited,
ready to burn out
but I've kept it waiting daily,
in case you turn around.


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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by paige

    Teria,your poems are amazing.

  • Keep it up yours are good

  • 11 years ago

    by HidinVictim

    Oh wow this is glorious!!! I love it, this piece can be taken multipe ways and I really like that about it... for me it sounds like a little girl being abandoned by maybe her father? I would love if you would PM me and tell me if Im close... great job... 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by FlirtingWithDeath

    Very creative and well written =]

  • 11 years ago

    by Steven Topaz

    First off your title doesn't seem to creative but somehow it still caught my attention, thats the job of a title of a poem, so i guess you did a good job with that,

    First Stanza:I am utterly confused by To, Touched I cant tell if you accidently typed part of it twice or thats how the poem was suppose to be but it makes no sense to me,
    The rest of this stanza was very good at describing the weakness of your heart,Somepeople use very weak similes which can piss me off because it gets annoying but you used two classic ones (I think) and it came out nicely,

    Second Stanza:Some people may think its annoying how you Repeat It's but i think it puts a nice rythm to the poem and it's much easier to read, I also like the first two lines it may not be original but it is well used, The hyphen is not correct I don't think a simple comma would of done,

    Third Stanza:Impactful first two lines, very heartfelt, but the last line "Caused yet In Disguise" Shouldn't it be something like "But yet Still in Disguise"? Im not sure but Caused makes no sense to me.. And again the hyphen I don't think its gramaticaly correct.
    oh and i like the un intended ryhme here.

    Final Stanza:ooo hot damn, use of title + Strong finish = 4 to a 5 Other than the hyphen again lol very good ending, I wasn't even exspecting that much of a finish out of this poem, good job "But i've kept it waiting Daily, Just Incase you turn around." Love it,

    Flow 4/5
    Emotinality 4/5
    Impact 6/5
    Ryhming N/A

    overall= 4.7 = 5