When Words Kill

"Whispered sweetness decipher deceptions
within a dream, pallid, in soft, scarlet tones-"

^^ I love this opening here, I find it to be incredibly beautiful, the imagery in these opening lines is stunning.

"lullabies lacerate destined sensations
outlined with zest of vivid, dancing shadows."

^^ You manage to follow the opening lines well here, I find these two lines to beautifully sad, and a little dark with the mention of dancing shadows, whereas I thought the opening two lines showed hope, so the contrast in this stanza is amazing.

"These notes are smeared with lilac's scent
unraveled between eager fingertips,
embedded into emerald, molten pupils
of the wordy demigods, coral demonic angels."

Oh my..this stsnza..wow.
The imagery, the flow, the content, it all melts together for one hell of a powerful stanza, and the "demonic angels" again creates a contrast which I think adds for a beautiful effect on this verse.

The last stanza wraps this piece perfectly, it creates such conflicting emotions for the reader, while the ending line is hard hitting and intense.

My favourite part of this piece is the flow, it doesn't falter once, the words just roll right of my tounge, while the imagery portrayed throughout the piece creates striking pictures in the reader's mind.

While relatively short you manage to keep the poem powerful throughout and the emotion shines through each and every word.

First off , I must say I love the title . As I was searching for this piece I noticed a lot of your titles that I liked . I am not sure if I commented any of your work before , so I will warn you now I do comment as I read . Which means stanza by stanza and my opinion is likely to change . Just a heads up :]]

First stanza : From the first line , I can already tell your poetry is deep and you take pride in strong , strong words . I loved the first line , very mysterious and got my attention . The rest of the stanza , I can tell your a writer who is not straight to the point . Meaning , you like to give a good mystery with your words . Lol . I loved the word scarlet used in the second line . . . Simply beautiful . And I think that there should be an [ a ] before zest in the last line . Might be like that on purpose , I ' m not quite sure . Overall , a wonderful opening stanza :]]

Second stanza : Wow . I must say , I LOVE that first line . It wow . I don ' t know but I love it . Lilacs scent . That is so dark yet creative . I love it . And the rest of the stanza flows with it . . Your vocabulary is still strong and you ' re creating a beautifully dark story in my mind . Lol . Sounds kinda scary but it ' s true . And I loved how you used the word emerald in there . Instead of using plain colors and scents you use beautiful things . Which is a great addition to your work . Your flow is off in a few minor places in this stanza , but it ' s really not that big of a deal . So again , another great stanza .

Third stanza : I love the word intricate .. And I love it even more the way you used it . The whole first line is beautiful . Your vocabulary is super super strong and creative . Also , the way you threw dirty windows in there . Lol . Not that it was funny , it was just a cool way to lighten the tense mood of the piece . If that makes sense to you . Here comes the darkness . Steel . Mutilating . I love the words and the energy in this piece as a whole . Is enough the kill somebody . [ Not Really But You Get It Right ? ] Another wonderful stanza .

So overall hun , a beautiful piece . You used great wording and imagry . 5 . 5

Amber .

I'm guessing when you write your forte is poetry. But, I figure that you'd be a great, amazing novelist. With your amazing ability to explain in such detail, every emotion and everything included.

Never once have I read a poem by you that I've not at least been fond of, usually it's more of a weird kind of love for them, lol.

Keep it up, you've once again done an amazing, amazing job darling.

Nyell, [sorry I wish I knew your name. ><]

It's always a pleasure to read your work even though it gives my brain a workout. You always seem to make things sound so beautiful when they're not. Your vocabulary is outstanding. Your flow is flawless. I just don't understand what you're saying. I mean it has to be something about killing with words because of the title. Right? o.o I wish I was smarter, maybe then I'd understand. Anyways, it was beautiful.

Wonderful job!

Keep writing!
Cayce

Wow...!!! This is remarkable. :)
I love the opening stanza the most! This piece reminds me of the poet that made me want to write myself, Billy Corgan (singer of the Smashing Pumpkins). The way you twist the words together and create these images, it simply makes me smile. "These notes are smeared with lilac's scent".... that made me shudder, because it is so beautiful, it made my spine tingle. You are truly a master of your pen! :)