Slow motion dream

I really enjoyed reading it n_n
very nice flow through out
5/5

Tat was stirring... good one n best of luck 4 d contest 2...

Keep it up

Best wishz...

Karan

Natalie,

Your talent is literally breathtaking!

Running in a dream and its like slow motion,
^This is a great start to set the poems scene.

Walking in real life, no real destination,
^Snatched out of the unreal dream into the real world, a world of indecision! Great line!

Dreams expressing my neglected inner desires,
^A wonderful description of the subconscious mind :o)

As hope, love and creation gently expires.
^Fulfillment and satisfaction in life can be so fragile. (Gently expires) great expression of fragile happiness!

Childrens eyes tearing monumentally,
^The worlds most innocent cry the most! Again, wonderful description (tearing monumentally)

Mankind's blunder quintessentially,
^The world should know better, but mankind is ignorant, hiding within their fortresses away from the real world!

Depicting reality diving into its gradual demise,
^I see this line as a person stepping away from the rot to see the true extent of the damage.

Ignorant people rejecting my purest advice.
^Again those who can help often bury their heads away from responsibilities!

I am running like crazy in my perfect dream,
^I imagine you dreaming a perfect world, a world free of war and poverty, a world where everyone is given the same rights and opportunities no matter what colour their skin, or nationality they are!

Fleeing the hatred, greed and my inner scream,
^Reality is dark and we live amongst the inner dead!

But my dream's speed is only slow motion,
^I love this line - The world is in such an awful state that it even permeates a perfect dream, slowing it down, preventing the world from being absolved of its sins!

I cannot run, it is only my childish notion.
^A sad realization of your perfect dream, being just that a dream!

There is nowhere to go to, everywhere is polluted,
^Sinking despair of the dark world we live. We are like fish, polluting the bowl in which we swim!

Innocent feelings, because of sin, softly diluted.
^The reality is that our home has too much wrong going on. Our haven has a raven!!

One day the world will take notice of your inspiring words! I certainly hope so baby!
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Mmm, This poem is very good. I enjoyed reading this. Very sweet and impressive. I love it and I'll give you a 5/5