by elana   Jul 11, 2008

My fingertips are ice cold as I lay here in the darkness of my own regrets
Forever they live in my mind not as memories but as mistakes
My skin burns as I wish to break free from this sickness I feel inside.
Secretly I claw away at my face as I gently wipe the tears from my fragile eyes
Another scar to remind me I am falling apart again
another scar to drown me with weakness and shame
Your heart can only break so many times until the shards that are left are to small to piece back together They become specs of sadness and anger barely visible to the eye
Asking myself over and over the same exact questions as before What did I do so wrong I just dont understand
I want to expose to you what I have become but Im just so afraid of your response.
If only I could show you what I use these bracelets to hide Every time I see the scars they remind me of the pain I deeply feel inside
When theyre almost faded once more blood seeps above the surface
Sure enough Im ashamed to say it helps me just as much as it makes me feel worthless
My tears fall and crash around me settling on the ground beside my feet where they lay alone and silent
My heart aches with the bitter pain that has built up inside of me
The memory I have of you has yet to drain from my soul
I wish I could release it so I wouldnt have to keep regretting it
I try to replace it and pretend its not there but it still lingers It has faded but not disappeared and when I feel it crawling under my skin its so unbearable
My tears no longer gently roll down my face but they crash around me as they hit the cold waiting surface below
My desperate cry for help is so simply forgotten


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