Deliberate Treason

by Karl Wild GG23   Aug 2, 2008


Counting countless sheep to sleep my mind is racing,
Eyes wide open, but still darkness is all I'm facing,
Legs as calm as the summer night, yet still I'm pacing,
Standing stone faced replacing a future not worth embracing.

Tear drops fall, tick tock on the wall the clock is ticking,
My heart beats with an open chest, a wound worth licking,
My body is paralyzed so my mind does the kicking,
No matter how loud I scream, I can't seem, to block the ticking.

This is my age of reason so I deliver deliberate treason,
Lets leave the past behind and find our growing season,
Embedded in my skin like a sliver, I quiver with shredded lungs,
You're Edens snake and you speak poison with two tongues.

So what was expected, by those of us who were neglected,
To count countless sheep to sleep alone, I stand corrected,
And as I suspected my weakness for you has been detected,
I now speak with two tongues, poison lungs have me infected.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This poem is restless and intense which makes in easy to relate to. As per usual I an very impressed
    5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • 15 years ago

    by Robert

    I love the visuals in this work it both intense and powerful. The work left a haunting images of almost loosing it. IU enjoyed this a lot great work. Plot121

  • 15 years ago

    by InvisiblyHeartless

    "Like a paraplegic I'm paralyzed so my mind does the kicking,"
    I think the paraplegic and paralyzed are too much for the same line. I understand the difficulty to replace it, somehow, but it just is too much.

    "tick tock on the wall the clock is ticking,"
    "I can't seem, to block the ticking."
    You use ticking twice in the same stanza and it is an unfortunate thing. It poisons the last line, by repeating it.

    Everything else is wonderful. The words painted inside my head. The flow was smooth and sweet. I enjoyed this. It was close to perfect.
    5/5

    Lexie

  • 15 years ago

    by David Dork

    Wow this poem is amazing, great work

  • 15 years ago

    by Annaam

    Wow... This is one great write... :)

    I honestly loved the first stanza:
    'Counting countless sheep to sleep my mind is racing,
    Eyes wide open, but still darkness is all I'm facing,
    Legs as calm as the summer night, yet still I'm pacing,
    Standing stone faced replacing a future not worth embracing.'
    -- Says a lot and made me read till the end, which was another job well done...!! :)

    5/5 8).

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