Gone in a Blink of an Eye.

Hmm i know this feeling
pretty much is a major suckfest
i am assuming this poem is about long distance relationship falling to pieces and both sides being totally crushed :(
-sigh- it is sad, very sad...
although the poem was extremely AWESOME!!!
i like how the first like 3 stanzas build up the love and such
then the last three words of the 3rd stanza tore it all down...
good job

Keenan

Very captivating piece. Good concept for a poem.
You've expressed the feelings very well.
Lines are very good. And full of meaning. But some lines are little long and could have been written in a better way.
The title is good and interesting. Liked this poem a lot.

I think these lines could be cut shorter a bit. The thing is, is that people look at it and there like "oh no it's so long" and also I think there are words that aren't needed. Trust me though the idea of the poem couldn't have been better but the picture needed to be a bit more clearer. I thought the emotion was good and the vocabulary wasn't over done. 4/5

Good title, I liked AblissfulDREAMER's suggesstion a lot.

"Broken heart sewed up ready to love once again,
took that leap of faith; said those three magical words-
expressed every feeling that she kept within hoping,
that maybe, just maybe... they would be returned.
Little did she know, those words came so fast."

Wonderful opening, and the way you worded this brought me into this poem. The last line especially is great to have there because it has the reader filled with awe that he will propose his love for her, very soon...

"Those passionate words spilled from his lips-
making her feel faint; could he be her first lover?
Indeed, it was visible- chemistry was amidst their bodies."

Excellent word choice, very captivating and had me reading on and on. I love how you make your descriptions so vivid, this was such a pleasure to read.

"Falling harder than ever before; they fell in love quickly.
They were completely unstoppable; they caught each other."

These two lines really didn't grab my attention that much, and in the first line, having "falling" and "fell" hurts the poem a but in my opinion. Maybe replace it with a more descriptive and interesting word. In the second line, I just felt it wasn't the best way to end the stanza, but what you were saying was very cute. I just think you can elaborate on it more.

I agree with AblissfulDREAMER on the third stanza. It was good and I did like it, but in my opinion it wasn't the best. And I think you could just work on the stanza, have it be more interesting and have it stand out more so to the reader. But I still enjoyed reading it. :)

"Confused mind; startled- she had no idea how it could work-
expressing the truth to him broke her heart into pieces, as well as his."

I love how you say what they are both feeling, and how her heart is broken and so is his. Beautifully written lines, such sadness is portrayed here.

"Only time would tell, as they have yet to find out what the future holds."

Flawless ending line, it really leaves the reader pondering and thinking about it. I really loved this poem, but I do think if you went back at a few places you could make this poem even better! Keep writing, always and forever....

Hmm for a title I think "Gone in a Blink of an Eye" or "Loved Today, Confused Tommorrow" I don't know, something along those lines. I could tell this came straight from your heart because the emotions were so real and you expressed them beautifully.

1st Stanza.
I loved the idea behind your words here. It was something many could related with. The notion of having your heart broken yet finding the person that just glues back the pieces of a shattered heart but because youre so eager to feel your heart whole again, you take that leap and it comes too fast. I do think it was a bit wordy and could flow better but you meaning was so powerful it really didnt matter. The beginning line didnt really capture my attention because its such an overused phrase but as I continued reading, it was great.

"took that leap of faith; said those three magical words"
^Loved it. Flawless. Wouldnt change a thing. This line is what made the stanza stand out to me even though I know you could have written it better. This line was so unique, truly captrued my attention.

2nd Stanza.
Okay the thing that stood out to me here is your overuse of the word "they" It made it kinda boring even though the other words such as "spilled from his lips" and "passionate words" were flawless. This could use of revisision and take our some "theys" to make it flow better.

"Falling harder than ever before; they fell in love quickly,"
^"Falling" ... "fell" I didnt like them both in the same sentence cause its basically saying the same thing. I think you should change one of them to make it flow better.

3rd Stanza.
This was too simple in my opinion. I know you could write soo much better and if you spent some time reading over this and expanding your vocabulary, it would sound so much better and stand out from the rest. I know you have it in you because this stanza was just good but you can make it great.

"Simple desires that they both wished to become reality-"
^Great opening to the stanza. This was the only sentence in the stanza that stood out to me while the others were a bit simple. Nonetheless I enjoyed it.

4th Stanza.
I loved how you ended this. The last two lines were filled with hope yet a hint of sadness. Not knowing what the future olds causes one to become confused because when you want something so badly and dont know if it will happen, makes someone frustrated and depressed. You exrpessed yourself nicely here and made it relatable to anyone.

I enjoyed the story behind your words although I know you can make this better. I loved it though.

Well done.
*5/5*