Wow.
it was amazinqq!
dere was a lot of emotion.
dha flow was kinda off tho.
my favorite part was
"I'm living off an assumption that never should have been followed through,
Distant thoughts,
Changing minds,
Surprisingly you haven't found me repulsive yet, but you will.
I have."

4.8/5

-antoniaaa*

I like the language and the style,
a little hard for me to read it with a nice flow, i'd like to hear it read.
but over all i'd say its good!

I like it, but i'm confused, what's the meaning behind it?

This was a very interesting write..it engaged me in a lot of thought about what you were trying to say in it. -- Im still not extremely sure, although it could be as simple as someone who has been put down and to the side so many times that they have learned to treat themselves the way others treat them kind of thing. :)
so yea... i liked how it was free verse and very serene.
amazing write X)

It was, like Locked said, very interesting, but kept the reader captivated. I like the free verse, and that's how I write my poems. (Can't write them any other way =D)
amazing. 5/5 <3

Beautiful :) Again could be related to by so many dif. people in many dif. situations :) love the style of this poem, very unike :) Great premise :)

5/5

Very interesting poem, i enjoyed reading it :)
the line that stuck with me throughout the poem was; ... counting down from zero < nice work :)

Firstly -- the form of this was interesting. It's unique, which is good. :]

"I'm living off an assumption that never should have been followed through,
Distant thoughts,
Changing minds,
Surprisingly you haven't found me repulsive yet, but you will.
I have."

-- This is a great beginning. It's honest, and straight forward. Your word choice is flawless. Beautiful.

"Mistaking the slip from colours into blacks and whites,
Shades and bases,
Not that it will mean anything soon.
Counting down from zero."

-- Wow. I can just hear this being read at some sort of poetry reading. When I read it to myself, it's so.. haunting, which is great, might I add.

"Maybe I have told myself that I am worth it.
A time ago.
A long time ago.
Doesn't matter, all truth has been lost from it now anyway."

-- Sheesh. I gotta be honest - it's hard for me to critique this as I find that it is perfectly written.

"I could transform these words into numbers
And then you'd see the purpose in them
Maybe even the beauty.
It doesn't matter;
it would never work
and that applies to more things you'd think."

-- Once again, this is wonderfully written. The honesty in your words absolutely amazes me. In the last line, however, I think there should be a comma before "you'd".

"Still, like an unexposed child, I tried even though I wasn't meant to."

-- This single line is great. It's a wonderful way to end the poem, as it says so much in so few words. The poem ends perfectly on cue, and doesn't drag on like some do. =]

Five out of five. [5/5]

``Briana

Wow good job..... its sad....... i had a gd read.... 5/5 for this.....

(Mistaking the slip from colours into blacks and whites,
Shades and bases,
Not that it will mean anything soon.
Counting down from zero.)

this is a best line it touch me......
well... keep writing =)

"I'm living off an assumption that never should have been followed through,
Distant thoughts,
Changing minds,
Surprisingly you haven't found me repulsive yet, but you will.
I have."
>straight to the point. flawless and easy to relate. the word choice is great.

"Mistaking the slip from colours into blacks and whites,
Shades and bases,
Not that it will mean anything soon."
>another powerful and amzing line. like the way you used shades and colors to describe the emotion..amazing....
"Counting down from zero."
>doesn't quite connect with the poem...i'm a little confused by this line..your meaning behind it...
"Maybe I have told myself that I am worth it.
A time ago.
A long time ago.
Doesn't matter, all truth has been lost from it now anyway."love this stanza...the depression you were feeling at the time was captured so well. you should probably leave "anyway" out of the last line..it sort of makes the stanza a little shaky..but it's our choice.

"I could transform these words into numbers
And then you'd see the purpose in them
Maybe even the beauty."
>ummm does he like math?
only a math genious would understand the language of pain and love if it where put in numbers...this like makes me think of that..unique..interesting and creative.
"It doesn't matter;
it would never work
and that applies to more things than you'd think."
>this line fades a little probably add a little more detail to it.

"Still, like an unexposed child, I tried even though I wasn't meant to."
>perfect ending! captured the emotion so well... just made the whole poem flawless and wonderful!
high 5 over all!

**Ada**
*aBSwaBHiaPL*

Color me a bit stupid i dont see the bueaty of the words that your correct in but bueaty of your brilliance is what im still finding awa struckable ( is that a word?) other then that
-Raindrops 5/5

Your format is one of the most unique formats I've seen on this site, you are very orignal when it comes to writing your poems thats for sure, and its not very hard to tell, lol. Anyways, this poem was interesting.. because it made the reader think what you were trying to really say at some points in the poem. Word choice was decent, it wasn't forced to make the poem totally misunderstandable, it was actually pretty simple and made the poem that much easier to read. I love your style of writing, it's unlike any other poet's here. Great work again, I honestly don't think there's much I would change with this write.. you always make the reader think when reading your poems and that really engages them in your poems and makes them interested to keep reading. Sorry, if I'm making no sense. You have talent, keep letting it shine! 5/5.

*applause* this was FANTASTIC!!! the last line. wow! It blew me away...

Mistaking the slip from colours into blacks and whites,
Shades and bases,
Not that it will mean anything soon.
Counting down from zero.

this made the poem seem so.... undescribable, i guess. It was so deep and full of intelectuality. If you wouldn't maind I would like to put it in my favorites? you are an amazing writer! great job!20/5

Absolutly amazing poem

Like said above the flow was not the best but still the poem was amazing
ending was best bit for me
The last line reali got to me i dont know what it was about it it just got to me!

you use words amazingly and i hope yu never stop writing