When all is gone

"Every dark night meets the dawn
Are the knights of dark ages gone?
Chivalry dead, commoners alive
Remnants of the past will survive"

-- This is amazing. Your word choice is absolute perfection. The rhyming is good, too, as is the flow.

"When all is gone what have we
But traces of what could be
Deep dark caves give no light
While above it shines bright"

-- In the first line, I think there should be a comma after "gone". I could be wrong, but when I was reading it, it seeme dlike there should be a pause, hence why I wonder about the comma. Other than that, this stanza is great. Even though it's not very descriptive, I can picture a cave and a beam of light coming from above.

"When all has been spent what can we save
What measure of treasure beyond the grave?
From pleasure to pain from joy to sorrow
There is always left a hope for tomorrow"

-- In the first line, I think there should be a comma after "spent". Once again, I could be wrong. I like how the first two lines rhymed, but the second one had an extre rhyme thrown in there, whether it was done on purpose or not. I think it gives the poem added personality points. =]

Five out of five. [5/5]

``Briana

Every dark night meets the dawn
Are the knights of dark ages gone?
Chivalry dead, commoners alive
Remnants of the past will survive
--------I liked how you picture the knights and their final destinations to the dark night and dawn. A hint od sadness or perhaps dismay was visible here. And ur choice of words in this line is superb. Not to mention flows and rhymes perfectly well.

When all is gone what have we
But traces of what could be
Deep dark caves give no light
While above it shines bright
---------I think the word "so" is missing after the word "shines" to complete the perfect flow of this stanza. Its just my opinion .:) as this lines are already perfect.I think the message you were trying to convey here is, after seeing the failures of the past, we could only correct by trying another path and look further ahead as there are so much to gain today and in the future..

When all has been spent what can we save
What measure of treasure beyond the grave?
From pleasure to pain from joy to sorrow
There is always left a hope for tomorrow
-----------overall this piece is superb..its like one kind of a combo...Great flow and rhyming. Extremely powerful with intense messages to convey.Youth is the hope of tomorrow as how one saying goes....I think we can always correct things only if we are willing to correct them..Im glad you ended your poem in a positive way..I really liked this one..Good Job..

"From pleasure to pain from joy to sorrow
There is always left a hope for tomorrow"
- An amazing ending.

This was such a meaningful write that just hits the reader's heart. You chose a good rhyme scheme for this one and the flow was very smooth throughout the entire poem. Nicely done.

5.5
Take care,
Stephanie

Really enjoyed it. Nice flow.

"When all is gone what have we
But traces of what could be
Deep dark caves give no light
While above it shines bright"

Awesome rhyming and flow here, this poem is so meaningful and your words took me on a enjoyable journey. Very inspiring, and this piece is excellent! Keep writing, always and forever...