Something missing

by TB76   Oct 19, 2008


Another cut in my arm
And another moment of happiness
Every time this razor touch my skin
It just makes me feel great

While I lose a few blood
I only think in how good it is to control my life
How invincible I am
Because after all the cuts
I still alive

But then the depression comes again
Comes and take me down again
Makes me cry when I don't want it
Makes me feel miserable

How is possible to have a normal life?
When nobody thinks you are normal
And the entire world is against us
And don't let people around me be happy

All I want is to be happy
And stop with this needing for cuts
I tried to be happy but I can't
Is missing something inside of me

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    "Another cut in my arm"
    I suggest:
    "Another cut across my arm" helps to flow.
    "Every time this razor touch my skin"
    Should be:
    "Every time this razor touches my skin"
    "While I lose a few blood"
    Maybe:
    "While I may lose some blood"
    "I still alive"
    Into either:
    "I am still alive," or "I still live."
    "Makes me cry when I don't want it"
    Into?
    "Makes me cry when I don't want to"
    "And stop with this needing for cuts"
    Into
    "And stop with this need for cuts"
    "Is missing something inside of me"
    Into
    "I am missing something inside of me"
    These are simply suggestions, but it might help the flow, and fix the grammar mistakes.
    Well done I believe, but you tend to have all the emotions switching around all the time, it makes it more difficult for the reader to get into it, and you have to reread it to find the emotion. Good job though.
    *Chaotic Angel*

  • 16 years ago

    by HuRtInG bEcAuSe Of YoU

    I have felt this many times.
    You put the emotions in your work so well. You really make the reader feel like they are in your situation.
    Awesome job

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