Alone

by TB76   Oct 19, 2008


Here I sit, closed in a room, the room that keep me away from reality and with this razor that makes me feel alive, make me feel like I control my own life.
My mum find out what I was doing to myself and the only thing she asked was if I wanted to talk or go to a psycho, like talk will solve all my problems.
Every time I close my eyes I see the face of my dead girlfriend, I remember the day I lost her and tears start falling from my eyes like water drops.
The only thing that makes me feel better is this razor cutting through my skin until she gets to my veins and then I just have to wait to see my blood falling on the floor like the rain, but a bloody rain, this moment make me feel complete alive and happy.

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  • 16 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    Well, you've already been critiqued i see. So i wont add any more. I love the emotion in this. You truly have gone through something hard, and if ever you need to talk (though i know it never helps) im on here all the time, and i can relate.
    *Chaotic Angel*

  • 16 years ago

    by HuRtInG bEcAuSe Of YoU

    Wow...

  • "Here I sit, closed in a room, the room that keep me away from reality"
    >love this line..but maybe you can add an s on "keep" =Keeps=
    "and with this razor that makes me feel alive, make me feel like I control my own life."
    >again another great line but you need to add an "s" on "make"
    "My mum find out what I was doing to myself and the only thing she asked was if I wanted to talk or go to a psycho, like talk will solve all my problems."
    >ok this line needs to be fixed a little. "My mum" =change it to "My mom" and then "like talk will solve my problems" =change it to "as if talking will solve my problems" remember becareful with your words.
    "Every time I close my eyes I see the face of my dead girlfriend, I remember the day I lost her and tears start falling from my eyes like water drops."
    >lovely line and the way you described it was so sad and beautiful.
    "The only thing that makes me feel better is this razor cutting through my skin until she gets to my veins and then I just have to wait to see my blood falling on the floor like the rain, but a bloody rain, this moment make me feel complete alive and happy."
    >this part faded a bit.. like i said becareful how you word things. other than that i love the choice of words. and he imagery. the sadness flowesd trough your poem like streams in a river.
    keep it up!!
    **Ada**
    *aBSwaBHiaPL*