Lies... And the End

Nice. I enjoyed this one. There is raw emotion there that makes this not so cliche. Nice job
5/5

"They strike you like a knife,
When you're not looking."

-I already like this poem, the entrance has drawn me in. With putting the knife in here, it's made me want to know more.

"Hurt you till you bleed,
When you're least expecting."

-This stanza makes me realize what your really talking about, and I think you described it very well.

"Continue striking you,
Until you lose it..."

-Friend turned enemy is never a pretty thing, and this stanza shows just how vicious that friend can be.

"The pain subsides,
As you finally let go.

Realizing the end of a trust,
Always broken.

The end of trying,
The end of crying,"

-Wow I had to read through these 3 stanzas twice to make sure I was getting the meaning right. It was a good thing, no worries.

"And the end of a relation...
That never was."

-The way you end this poem is very good. How you tie it back to the first stanza is very good and a very awesome technique.

*I think that this poem take's one of life's many lessons and sums it up very well.
5/5

A nice piece. Short, and to the point. I have a few suggestions, though, but please do not take them personally or anything.

I think your poem could be more brilliant if it had more substance. You get your point across, but there's not much there. There isn't much of a flow, and my guess is because there isn't a whole lot to the piece.

"Hurt you till you bleed,
When you're least expecting."

= I liked this, because it's so true. When you think nothing bad can happen, it does, and I find it's more likely to.

Good job, overall.

Briana

I really enjoyed the end of this, I must say. But the beginning wasn't quite my taste. The first 2/3 stanzas seemed off to me, especially the first. And, though it makes complete sense, flows well, and all that. I think it was the wording that wasn't my taste. But, the ending was nice. Even with the two lines that rhymed in the stanza before. They're out of place, but it worked nicely

This was a pretty good job, i must agree with the people above me, i was expecting more, and was a little disapointed. Thee was little flow, the it was written nicely.

4/5