Detonating Silence

"Am I in too deep?
You seem to colonize my sleep
Invading territories in my dreams
Creating a fortress within my realm"

^^I love this opening, original and unique, and pulls me into the poem, leaving me wanting more.

"Reality camouflaged by your hallucination
An army of you marching in my delusion
Patrolling round and round my distraction
Guarding my mind from any foreign invasion"

^^A beautiful way to carry the poem forward, this seems to be getting stronger as I go along.

"Firing with bullets made of roses
Launching rockets full of kisses
Dropping missiles, blasting love
You have taken me to a place high above"

^^I didn't like the love/above rhyme, I know there's not many words that rhyme perfectly with love, but the love/above came of a little cliche.

"Showing me heaven in a battle field
Tranquil whisper in war proves surreal
Paradise within the jungle no more concealed
Love once tangled by vines has now been revealed "

^^My favourite stanza, the imagery in this stanza is breath taking, creates such vivid pictures in my mind.

"Emerging from clouds of smoke grenades
I seek shelter under your company's shade
Risking awkwardness as I step further ahead
Swearing upon my rifle, as I surrender to fate"

^^I didn't like "I" in the second line, maybe change I seek to seeking?

"Triggering me to pour out my confessions
Those three words, aimed at your direction
Targeted towards your classified location
Detonating silence, combusting all my emotions "

^^What a beautiful way to wrap up this powerful piece, the emotion and depth in this is overwhelming and creates a strong closing stanza.

Wow a fantastic piece! The most creative piece I've ever read in fact. I loved the emotions and how much you mixed it all up. The last stanza made the poem a perfect ending. I loved this poem, keep up the great work!! 5/5.

-Ashlei.

What a very unique poem of love . Great imagery and word choices.

Firing with bullets made of roses
Launching rockets full of kisses
Dropping missiles, blasting love
You have taken me to a place high above

It is like you are using all loves artiliary to get someones attention.

Showing me heaven in a battle field
Tranquil whisper in war proves surreal
Paradise within the jungle no more concealed
Love once tangled by vines has now been revealed

It seems the person has finally decided to come out in the open with their love no longer hiding it from others.

Emerging from clouds of smoke grenades
I seek shelter under your company's shade
Risking awkwardness as I step further ahead
Swearing upon my rifle, as I surrender to fate

The 2 loves coming together here. Falling into what was meant to be.

Triggering me to pour out my confessions
Those three words, aimed at your direction
Targeted towards your classified location
Detonating silence, combusting all my emotions

Unique end to a unique poem :)
Excellent job!
Take Care
Cindy

This poem brought to memory and older song. Love is a battlefield. I love the comparison between the wars and love. You have done an amazing job with this write. Thanks for the share.

This is a great poem with great selections of rhymes and it flows so well