I Feel The Thoughts

by Good Enough   Mar 13, 2009


This day is getting harder
As the minutes tick away
Feeling my heart pound
Against my numbed chest

My thoughts start to hollow
As i fall farther down
I'm just someone weak
Someone turned to nobody

I can feel my head spinning
Thoughts never opened
Not seen with the naked eye
Its the thoughts you feel

I feel them tingling
All through my tangled body
From the top of my head
To the tips of my fingers

This day is getting harder
I just want to die
I feel those bad thoughts
The ones that want me dead

I can't hold on much longer
My fingers are starting to slip
I want this my final goodbye
Trust me theres nothing to miss

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Ixora

    This poem was a little edgy in the flow but ultimatley the power in the words brought it all together and that last stanza was breathtaking. You are truley a talent that shines.

    .[Bow].

  • 15 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Wow, this was a very sad poem indeed. :(

    The flow you have is okay, but I feel some things can be put into more poetic words. Sometimes it feels like you're just stating facts instead of writing poetry.

    Also, in lines such as these:

    "I feel them tingling
    All through my tangled body"

    The words 'tingling' and 'tangled' are basically the same though used in different tenses. It doesn't work having them so close together. You could change 'tangled' to something else that conveys the same message.

    Overall it's not bad, keep writing. We all improve with time. :)