A Pessimist's Wish

I like it
although its rhyme seems forced at times
other than that i like it and thought it was a good read
4/5

I live only to die,
and in the empty moments between... I cry.
But who hears or feels the tears I've shed?
Only those whose existence makes me dread.

* nice start, very emotional, you might want to reword the last line though*

Each new day brings virgin hope; yet i scorn.
For each new sun I've regretted being born.
I ponder the need and yet for all I try.
It would be better for the living that I would now die.

*very strong diction. i love it*

So goddess, if you would, please take my breath from me,
and waste no more time, let my soul run free.
For life's maze has made me both dreary and cold.
And all is not good as once I was told.

*another good stanza, i love how you keep the emotion throughout*

But air fills my lungs and it is plain to see
that perhaps I am wrong to have created this malady.
I succumb to sleep for no more can be said.
My hand falls limp, for now I am dead.

wow you have a wonderful gift with words, very powerful meassage. Shanik