You commented on one of my poems so i thought i should do the same

i really like this =] i like your style it's chill

It's interesting. You seem to cover a few to many things that went wrong, and the flow is a tiny bit off here and there, but, all and all, it's fantastic.

Peace and prosperity,

(RKD)

First thing I read as soon as I get home and it blew me away. You've written something beautiful, something rare that hasn't been exposed to the world until now. I think everyone was waiting for something like this, and you gave it to them beautifully. The flow was perfect from start to the very end, the length wasn't too long or too short, just right. Emotions filled every stanza, every line shuddered with feeling, it's quite amazing that I had to read it over a few times.

5/5

keep up the good work, you're incredible!

This is a damn good one...I loved how the whole story fit perfectly just through few stanzas and you managed it so amazingly and stunningly. I can tell you each stanza here stood out. The ending was beyond words, very emotional especially the last line. I admire the tone of sadness in this poem, The profound pain can be felt all over without being sound too overacted. I hope you'll win the contest. Good luck.

My simple story ends here
But unlike it, I can not disappear.
Forever I'll remain stationary with my broken wings
I'm the caged bird, now you know why I sing.

brilliant! this alone will be wonderful for an idea i'm having. the last line was magnificant. it was hard to explain what i felt exactly, but all i know is that is sounded and felt (YES FELT) right.

This is honestly a really amazing poem. I don't think that I could have done it better myself(if I were writing it for my own reading pleasure). This poem has such a deep meaning.

I know that the never pick a poem from the sadness section to win but in all honesty I don't care I nominated this poem anyways. The don't like teenage angst and self pity poems, I honestly think this poem is written with such simplicty at points then such complexity at others.

An amazing poem

Very touching write...

"Fall rolls down softly like dying leaves
Air so thick with sorrow, I can barely breathe.
I needed someone so I tore open my heart
He was my star that burned out leaving things dark"

^^Loved the imagery here... how u have used star and dark ...

"Forever I'll remain stationary with my broken wings
I'm the caged bird, now you know why I sing. "

^^ nicely ended... leaving me wonder if you will forever remain a caged bird...

wonderful write...

F**ken well done. Lets people know whose boss 5/5

Wow this is really sad..
i can see where your coming from..
good job and i really like it :)

WOW this poem is soo beautifull. its soo filled with pain it made me cry. I t is on my fav poem list. YOu are a wonderfull poet.

That was a beautiful and touching poem! most writers ask for people to criticize their poems so they can make them better, but i honestly can't find any flaw in it. i gave you a well deserved 5/5 ^.^ spectacular job

It's beautifully written and decsribed.. I love your description of pain feeling! It can be felt and touched fresh,, Good job! 5/5

Great poem love the flow the imagery is absolutely amazing the emotion is also incredible you have amazing talent 5/5 great work!!

Words can even explain how amazing this is. its a true work of art. i dont know how long its been since ive read a poem on here that touched me as much as yours did. fantastic job

This is a very good and emotional poem. Nice length as well.

Im speechless this time...

hands down.....

Hollow emotions enter my twisted mind
I'm out of thoughts, left with wasted time.
People point and stare as they pass me by
I'm a lost soul, let me tell you why.

Numbness covers my bloodless veins
I'm so hurt that I feel no pain.
You can punch me with your piercing words
But taking me from your heart hurts worse.

I can feel your pain in this subtle rhyme

Summer falls upon me once again
I'm breaking here without my dear friend.
She always knew what to say and I won't let that go
She will always be my beautiful wilted rose.

The flow is consistent as you address your theme with beautiful imagery and admiration

Back to spring with rain that never stops
So many internal twist and turns I got myself lost.
I fell for a guy, my husband to be
If your reading this, I love how you lie to me.

I don’t feel there is anything wrong with speaking directly to the theme as it adds a personal touch to the poem including the paradox If your reading this, I love how you lie to me. I other words I can relate to this myself

Lets walk back to winter with her frozen truths
Heated by fixation I miss being bruised
Beaten by thoughts and hate filled glances
I miss my Romeo, Juliet by herself sounds so tragic.

The beginning Lets walk back to winter with her frozen truths makes me feel more invited into the depth of this poem

Fall rolls down softly like dying leaves
Air so thick with sorrow, I can barely breathe.
I needed someone so I tore open my heart
He was my star that burned out leaving things dark

You have covered all of the seasons, persons and genders but yet you still have my attention

My simple story ends here
But unlike it, I can not disappear.
Forever I'll remain stationary with my broken wings
I'm the caged bird, now you know why I sing.

You seem to be caged by your passion yet it as natural for a bird to sing as it is to fly away

Turbulence of the heart. We each live our life's with hope of prosperity. To have a passion that expands to the greatest riches. Our mind's crave intelligence. While our hearts long for love. To fulfill the most of our wishes. Romeo comes along when we least expect him to. He rises up in all his glory. Surrounds us with his sheer masculinity. We avoid people in our times of grief. When thats when we need a hug the most. Often enough hearts get broken. Sadly we never seem to conquer another persons heart. But one day someday soon. We will find that joyous fountain of love. It'll spray down on us it's endless river of hope. I believe this poem speaks of loneliness. Don't wait for your Romeo. Be appreciative for what you have and have not got. Some of the finer things in life go unnoticed. Smile when times are bad. Because there are always others who are worse off. I realized this myself. Your poem is beautiful. And speaks of many hardships. Loneliness can eat a person alive. Bear it through dear. You'll find your dreams will come true when you least think they will.
Bravo.
*applauds*
5/5

-Lilium

I honestly think this is too confused in its entirety. It needs to be revised a lot as there are a lot of sentence constructions that don't make sense.

'Hollow emotions enter my twisted mind'

Hollow emotions is one of those awkward phrases that is thrown in there as a double-negative type of image. It doesn't work, trust me. I also don't understand how someone can be left with wasted time since wasted time is a past tense and you can't really be left with it..you can spend time and realise it's wasted but you need to rephrase that a bit.

I liked:

'You can punch me with your piercing words
But taking me from your heart hurts worse.'

Except 'punch' and 'piercing' aren't coherent together.

'She will always be my beautiful wilted rose.'

This doesn't make sense, you're basically saying someone is a beautiful dead flower.

'I fell for a guy, my husband to be
If your reading this, I love how you lie to me.'

This addition throws off the flow/tone and isn't needed.

I didn't like either how the metaphor of a 'bird' wasn't even used until the last two lines, so it doesn't work unfortunately. I've read better from you; not a fan of this one.

I'm literally thinking that this is awesome. You wrote the words, that I couldn't say.