ReBorn

by WakingFreedom   Jul 9, 2009


Being someone else was just a game.
Until it became my life and reality.
masked with caked on war-paint
There was a story hidden behind this identidy.
You loved me for who I was not.
You loved me for what you wanted.
As I peeled these smiles off one by one.
You finally seen the seed that was meant to be planted.
You stared and then laughed.
You pointed and then smirked.
Left me there alone, let the truth be told.
when you did, I was re-birthed.

With the pieces left of me to stand on,
I created a life of the new and re-born.
A pinch of love, a dash of friends.
Half cup of mixed tranquility and scorn.
A teaspoon of rivalry with a glass of hurt
A shot of a gun, and a scoop of words.
Mix together well and then add
A heart filled of confusion, two-thirds.
Put in a pan large enough for the world
Then heat up life 360 degrees.
bake for an enternity
And enjoy being what i'm meant to be.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by DarkCrystalbtrfy

    Very nice! once again great play on the words, I only found a couple of spots that I thought could be improved and that was just capatilization. my favorite lines were:

    You loved me for who I was not.
    You loved me for what you wanted.
    As I peeled these smiles off one by one

    This can be very true in the start of a relatioship. One could be looking through rose colored lenses and then as time wears on those lenses fall to the ground. I like how you put the lines together here because to me you say it in a diffrent way then most people are accustomed to hearing about.

    5/5 : )

  • 14 years ago

    by Lauren

    That is a really amazing poem, I love it a lot. It's extremely true for a lot of people and I most certainly can relate to the things you said. The last stanza was very cleverly written, as if a recipe being baked. I love the last line. Its very final and makes for a good last line. Awesome job!!

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I love the depth and honesty in this poem and the flow with the subtle rhyme scheme show a confidence that I envy

    I really enjoyed reading this

  • 14 years ago

    by Obscura

    This is a good the emotion was rich in it the structure is good it could be broken up more though i liked the ingredent list and prepirations at the end i though that was very clever

    well done 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    This is the second poem of this poet I have ever read and I am really impressed by its excellence.
    We should all learn lessons from a lost love and this is what we should do with that lesson no real bitterness just get on with what lies ahead be reborn to love again. Love it, full of all those emotions and the answers from a wise head to boot!
    A beautifully flowing example of all that is an excellent poem. Ray S 5/5 I have added Pingu to my favourite poet and can't wait to read more of her poetry.

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