Deflating Parachute.

It's weathered many
violent storms--
electrocuted by
destructive words;
even poisoned by
deceptive lies.

*My favorite part. I rememeber this poem ^.^ It was amazing when you first wrote it and it still has the very original feel to it now. Great work deary. Nik*

What emotions you have in this one. Young or old we can't control the blazing emotions that burn in us.
I am adding you to my favorite. Just the short time I have been here I see a huge improvement in your work It was good before but you are rising to the top of the charts.

Ingrid is correct, you are way to young to have these feelings. They will pass and you will find new love, maybe many before the true love intended for you is found. Good job.

"I have a good heart--"

I like how you open this piece with this statement, just clearly saying that you have a good heart.

"but its breakable."

This caught my eye, the "--" really added a nice touch, can't wait to read more!

"It's dangling
helplessly from
bare emotions--"

This was very unique, the thought of "dangling" was vivid in my mind.

"like a delfating
parachute."

This was a interesting simile, one that I would never have thought of.

"It's weathered many
violent storms--
electrocuted by
destructive words;
even poisoned by
deceptive lies."

This was descriptive and I liked the usage of "electrocuted", I don't hear that often.

"Now--I'm allergic to
love;"

I really haven't heard this line used before, nice work.

"repetitive
exposion of
feelings leaves
me physically
exhausted."

I didn't like how "explosion" wasn't plural, to me it would sound better that way.

"Strength is dissipating
and this deflating
parachute is
on the verge
of dying--"

How heartbreaking is this, just the thought is saddening.

"along
with my heart,
of course."

What a striking ending, very well-penned.
Another creative and entrancing piece, keep it up!

~MaryAnne

Along
with my heart,
of course.
^^

Aww..this was so heart breaking:/

You wrote these words well, Temps, but I did not like the message. A girl your age should not be this bitter!
A new love will come in time, mark my words.
You are so young and still have your whole life in front of you!
Now, please smile for me:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid