I Never Saw It Comin'

by BlueEyedMystery   Sep 9, 2009


Sometimes..
The hurt just won't go away.
The love is there,
And it wraps me up,
Warm like-
The coffee I pour down my throat.
But the sting in my chest-
It just sits there.
Waiting..
For the love to falter,
Just a tiny bit.
Then it hits,
And when it hits-
It SLAMS. Hard.
Into my already tender chest.
It creates a hole
So black. So dark.
It blinds me for a few seconds.
Like a bomb exploded,
And I wasn't expecting it.
..but I know better now.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Warm like-
    The coffee I pour down my throat.

    *I love this line!!! It's so vivid. It's a new way to desrcibe a warm feeling. very creative hun.

    Waiting.

    *I'd put some more periods after this so show the waiting... you know what I mean lol. I think the extra periods would put an emphasis on the word*

    And when it hits-
    It slams. Hard.

    *I'd change this to
    And when it hits...
    It SLAMS...hard.
    that way you put some emphasis on "slam" With it being all capitil I feel like I'm being hit to. *
    So black. So dark-

    *I think a period after So dark would fit better than a dash.*

    Like a bomb exploded,

    *I think "like a bomb exploding sounds better there. Overall I really liked this poem. I feel like you explained all the ways you were hurt and how much it surprised you. I love the creative way you worded this. Keep it up deary :) Nik*

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