18 years to live. 18 pills to die

Can you guess my item
The item I clutch in my fist
Ill give you a hint
Turn the cap and twist

Small but deadly
These pills will explode
I will no longer cry
Or fear the future roads

I have put up a fight
i take down a bottle of death
Swallowing each one slowly
As I gasp for my last breath

I think back to my past
a tear drop falls to the ground
For my past is what killed me
And stopped my heart’s pound

My head begins to shake
My eyes roll back
Hands curl in my chest
Senses around me I start to lack

It took 18 years to live
Now only 18 pills to die
I couldn’t keep going
So this poem says my goodbye